My Brother's Lullaby
by MercedesAsheSorrel
Summary: A few fragments and a golden elusive 'Fee' is all Kian of Bag-End can remember of his life. They are his treasure, and like any self-respecting dwarf, he guards his treasure fiercely. AU story. No slash. Rated T to be safe. Now completely revised! Enjoy!
1. Remembering Fragments Of A Life

**A/N: Well here is the revised version of My Brother's Lullaby! I hope that it is satisfactory! :) **

**For the sake of clarity for any new readers I may have, there are a few things that you need to know. I have altered the Tolkien Timeline a bit for this fic. I've changed when Bilbo's parents died and when he inherited Bag-End, making him considerably younger when he did. I've also come up with my own Dwarven ages and their human equivalents. For every 20 of dwarven years, it would be the equivalent of roughly 5 years in human reckoning. If you want to know my ratio, it is as follows: **

**20 years/5-6 years, 40 years/10-11 years, 60 years/15-16 years, 80 years/20-21 years  
**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Tolkiens**

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My Brothers Lullaby

Remembering The Fragments Of A Life

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_The Toddler didn't want to get into the coracle. He fussed and cried much to the dismay of his older companion._

_"Please you must! Now please, come on and get in!"_

_The Toddler sensed the hysteria in the others voice and quieted his cries and stared at his companion as he looked around frantically, his golden hair flying about his face, catching the sunlight. The Toddler giggled at the sight as he was made to get in the boat. The Golden One hushed him harshly and the Toddler began to cry again. The Golden one winced and hushed him again, more gently this time, before giving out whispered rushed instructions._

_"You must not leave the boat until it has completely stopped moving, you understand me? Then you have to find shelter that-"_

_A high pitched scream cut off The Golden One's words. The two of them looked at each other wide eyed with fear and The Toddler began to wail. The Golden One gathered him up and began to whisper a song._

_May there always be angels to watch over you  
To guide you each step of the way  
To guard you  
And keep you  
Safe from all harm  
Looli  
Looli  
Lailey  
_

_The Toddler calmed down as he heard the familiar song sung t__o him_._ The Golden One took the opportunity of the younger's resistance and laid him in the boat and kissed the The Toddler's forehead and whispered quietly,_

_"I love you Kili."_

_And with that The Golden One shoved the little coracle into river. The Toddler sat up and clung to the edge of the boat and watched as The Golden One turned and ran away without so much as a backwards glance._

_"Why yoo wanna weeve me Fi-"_

"Kian! It's time to get up and start the day!"

My eyes flew open at the interruption. I groaned and rolled over, and flung the covers off me as I did so. I had almost heard the name this time. All I had had all these years was the elusive sound 'Fee' to go by. I growled frustrated, I couldn't hardly remember anything of my life before my guardian had found me, half dead on a river bank. It had been at least ten years since then. I suppose I had been happy back then before I came to live here, in my memories I had seemed to be. But I could only remember snatches, fragments of the life I had once had. The smell of bacon, bergamot tea, and apple tarts in the morning. Sunshine dancing on a green hillside, sweet laughter on the wind. The captivating sight of swirling pipesmoke in a large room. Lullabies in the night, stories in the morning, and the elusive golden 'Fee'. He had no face in my book of memories, only a voice, for his voice had been my own then. A voice that had told others of my thoughts, my needs, and my wants. A voice that had told me tales of distant lands and people. A voice that had sung me lullabies. The voice that had sung me my brother's lullaby...The voice of my brother...I could remember nothing else after that, only my brother and the lullaby he had sung to me. I must have been musing over my dream for awhile because I heard my name being called again.

"Kian, if you aren't in here within the next five minutes, I won't be saving you any breakfast!"

I jumped up and dressed quickly at the threat, despite the fact that I knew it would remain only a threat no matter how much time I took. Jerking the door open, I raced through the hall and skidded to a halt in front of the kitchen table, slightly out breath. My guardian, Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag-End, looked up from his pocketwatch and glared at me disapprovingly, though the effect was somehow dampened by the joyous twinkle in his eyes.

"I do believe that you have been instructed to not run in the halls. A boy your age should know better!" Bilbo began in a tone of mock severity. "And you are fifteen seconds late. You are lucky that I am as generous as I am, lesser hobbits would not have been so kind to have waited for you and cleaned the table bare by now!"

I could not help it, I burst out laughing as did Bilbo. When our chuckles had finally subsided, Bilbo gestured to the table.

"Come on, we had better eat before it all gets cold." he smiled again.

"You know it's funny to hear you call me a 'boy' when I'm older than you!" I laughed as I sat down. "I'm forty-two!"

"Which is the equivalent to a hobbit lad of about ten. So I am older in maturity and shall continue to call you my boy!" smiled Bilbo.

I grinned back and turned my attention to the food laden table. My stomach did a flip flop when I noticed what Bilbo had made. Eggs and bacon, cinnamon buns, and apple tarts with bergamot tea. Ordinarily this wouldn't have triggered any response, but my dream and scattered memories were still too fresh in my mind and I felt a pang of homesickness that I didn't understand. I swallowed hard as my appetite fled me. All the same I followed Bilbo's lead and sat down and filled my plate. I couldn't eat with the same enthusiasm that I normally did and only picked at the food on my plate.

"Nice to know that you can't get enough of my cooking." chided Bilbo teasingly. "Come on, eat up my boy. A growing child like you needs plenty of food!"

"Sorry..." I ate a few more mouthfuls, sinking into thoughtfulness.

It had always seemed strange to me that a young Bilbo Baggins, not even of age as far as hobbits go, and new master of Bag-End, had wanted to take me, a foundling dwarf, into his care just after his parents had died. But from what I had learned from the neighbors, Bilbo had been a little more than distraught over the loss his parents. Some had actually feared that he would lose his mind to grief. And for the longest time, apparently Bilbo's neighbors back then believed that he had, especially when he had suddenly run off 'Into the Blue' as they put it, shortly after the funeral. No one was expecting him to come back with a toddler dwarfling in his arms and a smile on his face. I couldn't say that I wasn't happy that he did. I wouldn't have been alive if he hadn't, but I had always felt a twinge of regret that I had grown up never knowing what it was like to have been raised by my own kind. Still, even if I was in some ways an outsider to the Shire I was certainly not to Bilbo. Hamfast, Bilbo's gardener, had always said that Bilbo was taken with me from the moment he brought me home to Bag-End, and that it was because of me that Bilbo was able to overcome, or at least lay aside, his grief over his parents. I suppose that it made sense, that Bilbo would find a small ray of hope from his dark world of grief upon finding me, and cling to that hope. Whether or not that was true, I only had the word of Hamfast to go by, and though it was probably true, I would most likely never know for certain. It was really of no matter though, if Bilbo was inclined to keep this matter to himself, I would respect his privacy, it was the least I could do since he had given me a home. And besides I had my own fair share of secrets I kept from him as well.

I liked the name Kian, it was a dwarven name, and Bilbo had told me that it meant 'one of noble birth', though I had later found that another more common meaning of the name was 'Hope', and as nice as it was, it wasn't mine. I soundlessly whispered my name. It felt funny on my tongue: Kili. I smiled to myself. No matter what I had been called for all these years, I was Kili the dwarf, not Kian of Bag-End. I couldn't remember anymore as to why I didn't tell Bilbo my real name back then. Maybe it was my secretive dwarf nature coming out. All I would tell him was 'Kee'. Which is no doubt why he picked the best sounding name to match the little information I had given him. I had never told Bilbo anything that I could remember from before he found me. Not of the sunshine, the wind, my brother 'Fee', or the lullaby. Those precious few memories were mine and mine alone. They were the treasure that I guarded most covetously. I smiled to myself, how like a dwarf to hide his gold and gems away from even his family. I don't know how long I sat there staring at my plate, but it was Bilbo's voice that awakened me from my thoughts.

"You know, I was thinking we should go on another walking holiday, what do you think of that?" Bilbo smiled as my face lit up.

In truth I knew that Bilbo had planned no such thing, but walking holidays were something that both myself and Bilbo loved.

"Maybe we'll meet some elves, and they'll help me hone my archery skills!"

Even as I said it I inwardly winced, even with my limited knowledge of dwarves, I knew no self respecting dwarf should associate themselves with elves, and certainly not take lessons from one. Of course I had already imputed my honor as a dwarf when I took up the bow. I inwardly shrugged that might have made a difference had I been brought up with other dwarves, but as I had not, it was really of no consequence. Bilbo only laughed at my words.

"Well, I suppose you ought to eat some more don't you? You'll have no strength for it if you don't."

I picked up my fork and began to shovel down my food, my previous inability to eat forgotten at the prospect of a walking holiday, which made Bilbo laugh at me again, before reprimanding me lightly to eat slower, which I reluctantly did. Though I still cleared my plate in record time before I jumped up and all but ran to my room to get ready. I snatched up my bow and quiver, and stuffed a few items into rucksack that I knew I would need. I hurriedly raced back to the kitchen where Bilbo was still sitting. He laughed and told me to wait for him in the outer hall while he got ready himself. I snorted at him as I went and sat of Bilbo's mother's glory bow to begin my rather impatient wait in the hall.

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**A/N: I hope that this has begun to clarify things a bit for all of you readers! I would very much like to thank the two guest reviewers that helped to point out the problems and offer solutions to those problems, for this story. **

**Firstly, I would like to thank ShiningBlueStars for pointing out the inconsistencies in Kian's and Bilbo's relationship. **Thank you for the criticism. I appreciate it! :) I hadn't realized that I had made the relationship between Kian and Bilbo inconsistent. Sometimes it takes another's eyes to notice things like that. So thank you for pointing it out to me! I honestly wouldn't have seen it you hadn't. :) I was trying to bring out that while Kian loves Bilbo dearly and feels that he belongs with Bilbo, that he also feels that he belongs with these dwarves as well, because Kian had met them when he was younger and feels that connection with them, even though he can't remember it. I was also trying to bring out Kian's young, brash and impulsive behavior and that while he had been raised by a hobbit he was truely a Dwarf at heart. :) I do see your point though, and I'll see what I can do to continue to find that happy balance while clarifying Bilbo's and Kian's relationship so that there is no doubts in anyone's mind! :) Thank you again for the criticism. :) ****

****Secondly, I would also like to thank Different Guest for pointing out a few things and offering so many solutions and sparking so many ideas for me. I do believe that this will definitely help keep the flow of the story going in the direction that I wanted it to, and still keep the relationships between the dwarves and Kian and Bilbo clear. Thank you so much, I really appreciate everything that you did for me as well! :)****

****Thirdly, I would like to thank all the readers that have stuck by the story despite the delay! Thank you all so much, you are the best. :D  
****

****Just one more thing though. If any of you guest reviewers did indeed have an account, then please review as yourself and not as a guest. I would like to discuss things out with my readers, espescially if there is something that I am doing wrong and doesn't make sense to the reader or that the reader thinks should be better. Like I said, it sometimes takes another's eyes to see something that could be better. So Thanks again! And please don't be afraid to review as yourself even if it is negative! I learn from negative criticism! :)  
****

** Thanks again! :)**


	2. Meeting A Wizard

**A/N: A revised chapter 2!  
**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing **

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My Brother's Lullaby

Meeting A Wizard

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Nearly twenty-two years had passed since that day I had joyfully awaited a walking holiday with Bilbo; in which time Bilbo and I lived comfortably. Comfortably, but not contentedly, at least it was not for me. Very little differed in our lives, a fact that bothered me. But as the years past I noticed a change occurring in both myself and Bilbo. It was a small change at first, small and gradual. I had begun to notice that Bilbo was taking fewer and fewer walking holidays with me, before they had stopped altogether. And then I noticed that Bilbo had become keenly interested in what the neighbors thought of him and he started putting up the appearances of a respectable hobbit. I soon realized that Bilbo wasn't just putting up appearances, he was becoming a respectable hobbit. Bilbo was quickly becoming the Baggins of his name. He seemed content with this change. I couldn't have been less so. I was restless, and I felt stifled. I felt like I had no room to breathe and so I became distant to Bilbo.

It wasn't as though I didn't care for Bilbo, and the Shire was in, many ways, my home, and in many other ways it was not. I could not, on several occasions, repress the feeling of belonging far from the safe stifling borders of the Shire. And as I grew older I found those feelings harder to overcome. I would disappear for days at a time, impulsively giving in to feelings. Hamfast called me 'rebellious', though I would not have called it that, far from it in fact. It was more like the overpowering urge to be free. And as Bilbo began to situate himself more comfortably within the halls of Bag-End, I grew more restless and with that restlessness came recklessness. As the time passed I became more reckless than before, almost as if to counterbalance Bilbo's respectableness.

Bilbo had often despaired over me, as I would once again, drag or be dragged, back home, sporting various new, minor injuries. I had once braved going all the way to the edge of The West Farthing alone. At the time I had been angry with Bilbo for something that I can't now remember, and the feeling of needing to be far from the Shire surged once again. I had had only one thought then, to get to Ered Luin, where I knew there were dwarves that would understand me. I had gotten myself lost and was almost eaten by a pack of wolves when a group of strange men garbed in grey had come to my aid. They kindly accompanied me until I was far enough into the Shire that I feared little danger. I never forgot them. They were kind and stern, and more powerful than any other being I had ever known, but then I had only ever known hobbits and they weren't exactly know for being powerful, unless powerful eaters counted.

I sat musing over my thoughts as I shared breakfast with Bilbo. I turned my eyes on my guardian. I was not surprised when I barely recognized him. The years had passed by but it was as though I was frozen in time and Bilbo had somehow managed to speed his up. I was older yes, even older than Bilbo was now, but I was no less reckless and impulsive. I sighed dispiritedly. Where was the Bilbo that cared not a whit about how peculiar the neighbors thought him? Where was the Bilbo that would get covered in head to toe in dirt to catch lightning bugs with me? Where was the Bilbo that would run through the woods with me in search of elves? Where was the Bilbo that dreamed of exploring the far corners of Middle Earth with me by his side. I missed that Bilbo. I sighed again.

"Why are you sighing Kian?" asked Bilbo.

"Oh, no reason really..." I said evasively.

Bilbo looked ready to argue the point, I was not in the mood for such a conversation and feeling restless again, so I asked quickly.

"Bilbo, were you going to need me for anything today? I was going to be out and about."

"Where are you off to, Kian my boy?"

"I was going to go over to Regrin's smithy. He going to let me work on a few projects of mine if he isn't too busy and has the metal to spare."

Bilbo even with his limited knowledge of dwarves knew that we had a certain talent for smithing and had spent a great deal of time convincing old Regrin to let me apprentice with him. Regrin quickly learned of my raw abilities and after only a short time let me have full run of the forge.

"Well go on then and had fun!" laughed Bilbo, as he stood and gently shoved me from my seat. "And stay out of trouble!" he added seriously.

After pledging that I would do my utmost to behave, I grabbed a few things I would need and took off down the road, Bag-End quickly disappearing from sight.

oOo

I wiped the sweat from my brow. I had been working on a new hairclasp for myself. I was quite proud of myself for the intricate design I had inscribed. It was my sigil. Regrin came over to inspect my craftsmanship. He turned and left with an approving nod and a grunt, the highest praise he ever offered, and only if he thought the work was good enough. He had often laughed at my work when it came to anything that was practical. However if I was making a sword, or armor, and even sometimes jewelry, he said I was unmatched. I smiled again at my handiwork and laid the clasp in the box that contained the sword and the vanbraces that I had made. I said a word of thanks to Regrin, slipped the package into my knapsack, which I threw over my shoulder, and turned to leave. I reached for the doorhandle, but jumped back startled when it swung open and Rehur, Regrin's son, came tumbling across the threshold.

"Land's sake, Son!" exclaimed Regrin "Whatever has happened to put you in such a fuss?"

"T-t-there's tales" Rehur took a great breath. "There's tales going around of Big Folk in the Shire!"

I laughed.

"Oh, sure, Rehur, occasionally the Big Folk will pass through, but it's certainly nothing to get this worked up over."

"N-no! Not just any Big Folk! Gandalf the Grey! The wizard! He's back in the Shire!"

That was all it took. I heard the words Gandalf the Grey and Wizard and I was hard on my feet running as fast as I could out the door. A wizard! Merciful Middle-Earth! And Gandalf the Grey no less! Bilbo had told me tales of his fireworks on Midsummers Eve when I was little. I could not pass this opportunity up. I raced through the fields, in the hopes that I might get a glimpse of him. I leaped over a fence and landed on a loose stone in the road and I slipped, falling forward. A wizen old man was what broke my fall. I fell into him, causing him to stumble to one side, before he turned, surprisingly quick considering his age, and caught me in his arms. I looked up at him as he put me back on my feet.

He was entirely dressed in grey, and he wore a tall pointy hat. His grey beard, weathered face, and wooden staff, were the only indicators of his many years. His eyes, which looked down at me from beneath his bushy eyebrows, glinted merrily like a child's, and the grip of his hand, as he held me whilst I found my feet, was as strong as a man's in his thirties. He was a strange man, quite possibly the strangest of the Big Folk I had ever seen. Apparently he found me to be just as strange as I found him to be, for he looked me over and said.

"Well, here is something you don't see in the Shire. A dwarf! And dressed like a hobbit, no less! Have the dwarves taken up residence in the Shire, and begun to adopt the ways of it's natural inhabitants?" He began to chuckle at the absurdity of the situation.

I laughed with the old man. He had the air of adventure about him and in my mundane little life here that felt like a breath of fresh air.

"Not to my knowledge, no. I believe I am the only dwarf to have ever lived within the Shire. I don't live far from here, just up the hill, at Bag-End."

"Bag-End?" the old man quirked a eyebrow at me. "Then you know Mister Bilbo Baggins."

"I should hope that I did." I laughed "He's raised for nearly twenty-two years!" I laughed again.

The old man joined me briefly, but then turned thoughtful eyes on me.

"Twenty-two years? Well then you must be in you sixties as far as dwarves go."

"I turn sixty-four tomorrow actually."

"Well happy birthday in advance, though I could have waited until tomorrow, I suppose. You see I've just been to see Bilbo Baggins, who was most kind enough to invite me to tea tomorrow."

"He did?!"

Bilbo had promised to go on a walking holiday with me, but now I would spend the day being the polite host to this old man. I frowned, highly upset with Bilbo and angry tears threatened to spill from my eyes.

"There, there now, there's no need for that, I can safely bet that there are few people in the Shire that can say that Gandalf the Wizard attended their birthday party." He said as he pulled my chin up.

I blinked. I surely could not have heard right. Gandalf the Wizard? The very person I had run through so many corn fields just to glimpse at? He caught me staring at him, but he didn't act offended and smiled.

"What is your name, master dwarf?"

"Kian of Bag-End."

"Well, Kian of Bag-End, I look forward to seeing you at you birthday party, and I can assure you that it will be a party indeed!"

He turned and with a polite nod, went on his way. I stared at the ground and blinked in shock for a moment. I looked up and began to ask when we were to be expecting him, but to my surprise Gandalf had vanished. I blinked again in utter confusion, but then shrugged and started off for Bag-End.

I let myself in and called for Bilbo. After Gandalf had mysteriously disappeared in a matter of seconds I wasn't sure that he had not just been a figment of my usually overactive imagination. I would need confirmation from Bilbo that he had indeed seen the wizard, and to ask why the now unadventurous Mr. Baggins had decided to invite a wizard to tea. Perhaps Gandalf had wanted to come to tea and Bilbo hadn't been able to refuse. Somehow I figured that it might be hazardous to ones health to refuse a wizard something that they wanted.

I closed the door behind me and searched the halls for Bilbo. I found him in the kitchen, sipping a glass of Old Winyard and eating a second breakfast.

"It's a little early in the day to be drinking, don't you think, Bilbo?" I said as I cast Bilbo a devilish grin.

"Oh, Kian my boy! I've just had the most shocking surprise of my life!"

I quirked a brow at him.

"Did Lobelia come to bother you again Bilbo?"

He made no indication that he had heard me.

"Gandalf the Wizard was here in the Shire-"

That confirmed it then, Bilbo had indeed seen Gandalf. I grinned and interrupted him.

"I know! I ran into him, quite literally, in fact!"

"Y-you did?!"

I nodded and asked,

"What did Gandalf want here?"

"That was what was so shocking! He came to ask me to share in an adventure! Of course I told him immediately that he had come to the wrong place for adventurers, and that he had better try over The Hill or across The Water. He eventually went on his way."

I felt my heart sink to my toes. If only Gandalf had come ten years ago, we might have been half way across the Shire by now, having a grand time. I tried to keep my disappointment from showing on my face, but somehow couldn't keep it from my voice.

"B-but you asked him to tea, Bilbo!" I said as though that meant that somehow Bilbo would change his mind.

"What? O-oh, yes, well, I had to get him to move on somehow. We don't want any adventures here, now do we Kian, my boy?" said Bilbo, as he went back to sipping his wine.

I could help but wish that a wonderfully horrid adventure might come knocking on Bilbo Baggins door.

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**I hope that the revisions have helped with the general story! :)**


	3. An Unexpected Birthday Party

**A/N: The revisions continue! XD  
**

**Disclaimer: Anything of Tolkien's I do not own!**

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My Brother's Lullaby

An Unexpected Birthday Party

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Morning dawned bright and flooded my room with it's light. I jumped up more than excited. Sixty-four! I laughed to myself. I was older than Bilbo and yet was acting like a hobbit tween. I laughed again before getting dressed. As always on my birthday I dressed in my customary dwarven outfit of a royal blue tunic with a hood, an outer vest of brown with gold embroidery sewn into the edge, with my thick leather coat over top. I quickly tied the shirt laces at my wrists and then pulled my boots on. Finished, I pulled back a portion of my hair with my new hair clasp, but not bothering with it too much. Predictably my bangs slipped from the clasp and fell into my face. I looked myself over in the mirror.

From looking at myself in the mirror, one would never have guessed that I had been raised by a hobbit of the Shire, what with my complete dwarven attire. It was somewhat ironic seeing as Bilbo had been the one to help me make it, as he had for all my other dwarven clothing as I grew throughout the years. He had understood how important it was for me, on my birthday at least, that I dress like a true dwarf. And he never questioned it, which I was grateful for, because I wasn't sure that I would be able to give a satisfactory answer had he asked. It was simply something that I needed to do. I had always done this on my birthday for whatever reason. Even I didn't know why. Perhaps it was the only time I felt like a dwarf, felt whole. I had always felt better in dwarven clothing than I did in Shire fashions, even though I rarely wore them. I wondered if I hadn't worn them to save Bilbo some embarrassment. I shrugged, I had been doing this for over thirty years now, there really was no point speculating now. I was about to leave the room, when as a final thought, I turned back and pulled from beneath my bed the box that I kept everything I had made from the forge and took my vambraces out. Strapping them on I looked at my reflection once again. All I would need was my bow and quiver and my sword strapped to my back and I would be a true dwarf. I smiled and flung my bedroom door open and left as once again, Kili the Dwarf.

I bounced into the kitchen, full of grins. Bilbo, as always the first one to rise, looked up and grinned himself at my sunny attitude. Breakfast had already been made and was waiting for me. I sat down as he slid my plate in front of me. I grinned again and began to shovel my food.

"I feel it is my duty to tell you this Kili...I didn't get you a birthday present." said Bilbo seriously, from the other side of the table as he took his seat.

I quite literally dropped my fork. He couldn't be serious!

"Yes, I didn't get you a birthday this year, I'm afraid, and I hope that you can forgive me for that. I just thought that it would be better this way."

I could only blink at him. No, Bilbo wouldn't do such a thing! He had always gotten me a birthday present, even though hobbit tradition is that you give everyone else presents on your birthday. I began to splutter angrily at him, my words not even comprehensible. Bilbo suddenly snickered and tried to contain his laughter, at which he failed. I was seriously beginning to wonder if my guardian had gone mad. When his laughter quieted to the occasional chuckle, Bilbo finally explained.

"The reason that I didn't buy you a birthday present was because I thought you might like to go pick your own present at the market today after breakfast."

I was filled with both the urge to laugh and to shake Bilbo silly, but settled for a soft smile at Bilbo's joke, admitting that he had had me completely taken in. I had honestly had thought he was serious. I grinned inwardly at myself for being so easily fooled. I had to admit being the one playing the trick was far more fun than being played on. But as Bilbo few chances to do so I didn't begrudge him doing so. Once Bilbo had gotten over his laughter and breakfast had been cleared away, he turned to me with a smile and a gesture towards the front door. I practically danced out the door, becoming once again the small dwarfling that Bilbo had found years ago.

Bilbo carefully locked the front door and looked around suspiciously, clutching the basket he had brought tightly in his fist. I wanted to burst out laughing at his very jumpy behavior as we made our way to the market. It was clear that Bilbo had not forgotten about our visitor from yesterday. He kept looking over his shoulder and peering around the bushes as if expecting Gandalf to suddenly pop out of the hedgerows. Nothing would be gained from calling him out on it though, and he did seem to become more at ease the closer we got to the market. Perhaps that was because there were more places to hide. As the time went by he became more relaxed and seemed to enjoy being dragged by me to whatever vendor caught my eye.

The day had gone by pleasantly enough. I was allowed to choose three things for my birthday. Almost immediately I came away with a new pipe and a fiddle. We spent the whole morning searching through the stalls for my last present but I couldn't find anything that struck my fancy. Finally, after eating a lunch given to us by old Gamma, an elderly relative of Bilbo's gardener, we found it. Or rather Bilbo did.

Among the stalls there were a few traveling merchants that had set out their wares. There was one that sold strange spices and other such foods and a cluster of hobbits had gathered around to peek at them. There were several similar traders around peddling their goods to the somewhat wary hobbits. I chatted with a few of them and listened to their stories. Bilbo had gone off to fetch something that he said we needed 'most desperately', so there was no one to hinder me from learning all the news I could from the outside world. And it was Bilbo's rather untimely return that brought one man's interesting tale of one of his journey's, to an end. Bilbo appeared to be flustered about something and when I asked, he shrugged me off saying that it was nothing and silly. After inquiring if I had found my third present, Bilbo started to look around the shoppe's to see if there was anything I might be interested in. I turned back to the merchant I had previously been having a conversation with and was about to continue it when Bilbo's called after me.

"Kian! Come here a moment. I think I may have found something."

I sighed, thanked the man for sharing his stories with me, and made my way to where Bilbo stood grinning, carefully blocking what it was he want me to see. I tried to peek around him but he was having none of that, so I finally gave of the attempt, and demanded cheekily that he show me at once. He willingly obliged and I gasped in wonder at what he had found.

It was the most beautiful bow I had ever seen. It was of the recurve style though considerably shorter. It was rather squarish and had dwarven carvings along the hand rest. I picked it up and ran my hands down it. It was perfect, from the wood to the metal nocks. It had been carefully crafted and almost if especially for me, fitting nicely in my hand. I drew the string back to test how it felt. It was taut and strong, easy enough to draw, yet having enough power behind it to make it deadly. I stopped my ridiculous drooling over it when I saw the tradesman grinning at me. I was startled to find a dwarf staring me in the eye, though I suppose I shouldn't have been, as I was holding a true dwarven made weapon.

"Ye like that do ye, laddie?"

I nodded wordlessly, still admiring the beauty of it.

"Well then let me tell ye a little story, lad."

I looked at him, intrigued and wondering what this might have to do with him making a sale.

"As ye can see, I'm a traveler. I hop from place to place to get the best gold for me wares. I live up in the Blue Mountains most of the time so most of me merchandise is sold in Ered Luin. Well I got an order from a customer in Bree, so it were, for a few bows. I was on me way back home when the sudden thought hit me that it was market day here and that I should open shop here for the day. Silly thought I know, how many of the likes of these parts would be wantin' dwarven weapons, eh? I've got no idea where the idea came from but I heeded it anyway. And now look where we are. Me amongst hobbits and I find the one dwarf that lives in these lands!" He laughed at my confused look. I hadn't understood what this tale had to do with me. "What I'm sayin' is I think that bow was meant for you laddie." Bilbo coughed loudly at this point, clearly thinking that the dwarf was simply playing up the item. The dwarf took no notice however. "You'll probably be needin' it soon, I warrant, for one thing or another."

"How do you know that I'll be needing it?" I asked

"I can just feel it." he answered with a wink.

I nodded. It did feel right, more so than my other home-made bow that I had at home. The dwarf's words made me think of Gandalf and his request to take Bilbo on an adventure. Was this why it felt so good? My thought was interrupted by Bilbo asking rather peevishly,

"And just how much for this fantastic bow that Kian will be needing so badly?"

I could tell he didn't believe a word that the merchant had said and though it had struck a chord with me, I too was wondering the price.

"Eh? Oh, there's no charge. As I said, this bow was meant for the lad. You keep that now, you hear?"

Both Bilbo and I were astonished and it must have clearly shown on our faces as the dwarf laughed heartily.

"I made enough coin down in Bree. This just feels right. And here, much good a bow'll do ye if you've no arrows to use with it. Ye can have this too." he said, as he passed me a leather quiver brimming with nearly twenty-five arrows.

"T-thank you!" I managed to stammer out. "You are very generous and kind. Is there nothing I can do to pay you?"

The dwarf got a devilish grin on his face.

"Well, now that ye ask, yes I suppose that there is. Ye see that there apple over yonder? Well that youngling there has been trying to get it for about an hour. Amazingly persistent creatures, hobbits are, when there's food about. If you could shoot it down to the boy without damagin' the fruit, I'll consider you a worthy owner of that weapon."

I shared his mischievous look and quickly notched an arrow. The apple was high up and there were several branches in the way, not to mention all the hobbits that stood between my arrow and my target. I only had a slim chance of hitting it without damaging it or missing and hurting someone. It would be a difficult shot, but I felt that I could make it. I had to, my reputation was at stake. I quickly aimed, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. My eyes snapped open and I let loose the arrow. A childish squeal of delight told me that I had been successful. I saw the hobbit child grinning wildly, as he told his mother what had happened. She cast a frown at us as did many others. My only response to their glares was an over flourished bow. I turned back to Bilbo, whom looked completely horrified that I had actually done such a thing, and the dwarf.

"I knew ye could do it!" he banged his fist against the counter and regarded me fondly. "Ye can keep that with me compliments! What's yer name laddie?

I turned to see where Bilbo was, he had apparently gone to apologize to the boy's mother.

"Kili, at your service! " I said with a bow.

"Kili, I'll remember the name. Ye have made old Master Brokk's day, so you have."

We clasped hands together and I thanked Brokk once again. He waved them off stating once again that it had felt right to him. I was about to ask him why it had felt right to him, when Bilbo came back.

"We thank you Master Dwarf, for the gift, but really need to go now." said Bilbo shortly.

I suspect the hobbit mother had given him quite an earful and it was due to that Bilbo had been a little rude. I should have been sorry for causing trouble, but I couldn't find it in me to be so. It was such a perfect shot. No one had been hurt and I hadn't missed either. I had neatly cut the stem of the fruit, causing it to fall into a ready hobbit hand. No, I wasn't sorry at all, I was proud!

"Good day, Master Brokk. Thank you so much for the bow! You take care of yourself." I said to Brokk, clasping hands with him again.

"Make sure ye do the same."

After a final wave, I joined Bilbo. Walking through the market square I realized by the sun that it was well past teatime. I hadn't thought we had been out that long. I wondered if Gandalf was awaiting us at Bag-End's doorstep, waiting to let in. Though being a wizard, I was sure he could get in if he wished. I had a sudden thought of Gandalf sitting quietly in the parlor, helping himself to Bilbo's Old Winyard. It was a funny thought, however unlikely it was. I turned to Bilbo and asked,

"When do you suppose Gandalf will arrive, Bilbo?"

"Hmm? What Kian?"

After I had repeated the question, Bilbo turned white and became quite flustered. I could tell he had hoped that I had forgotten about Gandalf.

"O-oh, well, it's past tea-time now. I-I suppose we should be heading home, yes..."

"You were hoping that I would forget and your hoping he will forget as well, aren't you, Bilbo?" I asked shrewdly.

Bilbo sighed and said.

"It will be easier, so that I won't have to explain to him that we don't want any adventures and waste another day of his time."

"But why would an adventure be a bad thing, Bilbo? See the world, meet it's people! One can't live from books and maps alone! There was a time when an adventure would have suited you just fine!"

"Kian, my boy." Bilbo began, with the air of indulging a small child. "I was a young hobbit back then. I know better now. There is no self respecting hobbit that would go running off into the blue for an adventure."

"But I'm not a self respecting hobbit, am I?" I snapped back angrily. "You had better hope that Gandalf doesn't arrive! Because if he does, I'm going with him, with or without you."

I spun on my heel and stormed of`f towards Bag-End. I could picture Bilbo's face in my minds eye. The complete surprise, fear, and hurt that would be written across his features. I almost considered apologizing. Almost. I was still too angry to actually do so yet. I sighed and didn't stop and listened to the slow dejected patter of Bilbo behind me. Surely he hadn't actually believed what I had said, it's not as though I would actually leave him, would I? I now began to question myself. Could I honestly leave Bilbo for something as ridiculous as a little excitement? Could I just abandon my guardian, whom I had loved all these years with all my heart, simply because I was bored? Was my strength and fortitude that little? I thought of Bilbo plodding behind me, and his face came to my mind again, hurt that I would say such a thing to him, and afraid that I might actually do it. I couldn't do that to him, not after he had sacrificed so much for me. I stopped and turned to face Bilbo.

His expression was exactly like what I had imagined to look like. I felt suddenly ashamed at the apprehensive look Bilbo was giving me. As though he expected me to snarl at him again. I couldn't bear to see that look, so I hurried to apologize.

"I'm sorry, Bilbo! I-I didn't really mean that! Of course I won't leave you, i-i't just that I-I frustrated by everything here, a-a-and I don't even know! I'm really sorry, please don't look at me that way!" I pleaded.

Bilbo nodded graciously and pulled me into a one armed hug, that I reciprocated, though I had to lean down to do so.

"It's alright Kian. I do understand, I do. Though you weren't raised in dwarven culture, that is what you are, you will never be truely happy here." said Bilbo quietly, in a hollow sort of voice. That was almost worse than the look he cast at me and I hastened to assure him that I was indeed happy, but he held up a hand to stop me. "No, no Kian you will never be truely happy here. I've seen the way you look off into the distance wishing yourself far beyond the borders of Shire. If you want to go with Gandalf if he comes, then I won't stop you."

Bilbo embraced me again with a sad little smile and I felt even worse than before, but I tried to smile back for his sake.

"Now let's hear no more of this for the moment! It's your birthday and I have a birthday dinner to prepare! Now once we get back home, why don't you try out that new bow of yours and see how well it shoots?"

I smiled at his attempt at normal conversation and quickly agreed with what Bilbo was suggesting, as ridiculous as that was, seeing as how most of Hobbiton had just witnessed how well my new bow shot. I threw my around around his shoulders and together we made or way home.

* * *

oOo

* * *

I sat down disappointed. No walking holiday, no Gandalf, no party. Bilbo had cooked my favorite supper: pan fried fish, but that was a poor substitute for the promises that had been made to me. I reprimanded myself silently. I was sixty-four, for lands sake! I should have been beyond such childish wants, but that didn't stop the sting of a broken promise. My earlier displeasure resurfaced and I frowned at Bilbo but he didn't really seem to notice me glaring daggers at him as he sprinkled seasons and squeezed lemon juice onto his fish. We both stopped and turned at the sound of the doorbell ringing. A jolt shot through me. Perhaps Gandalf had come after all! But if it was Gandalf, the wizard clearly had no idea what time tea was usually taken. Bilbo stood to answer the door, but I moved quicker than him and said as I walked out of the kitchen.

"I'll get it Bilbo, you can eat."

I all but raced to the door. I jerked open the door expecting to see the wizened form of Gandalf. I was startled to see the one thing I had never expected to be standing at Bilbo's door: a dwarf.

"Dwalin, at your service." he said, bowing slightly, the small flickering of his eyes the indication that he was surprised to see me.

I stared for a few seconds before I remembering my manners.

"Kian of Bag-End..." I paused taking in his appearance. "...at yours."

He only grunted in reply and stepped over the threshold "D-do we know each other?" I asked uncertainly. Something about this Dwalin looked very familiar to me but I could not place where I had seen him. Perhaps I had seen him simply journeying through the Shire to some other place. I stopped for a moment as he dragged his cloak from his shoulders to look him over . He was obviously much older than myself, having lost a great portion of his hair from the top of his head. Where he had gone bald, he had covered with tattoos that matched those on his hands. He was a gruff sort of person, gruff but with some sort of gentle understanding underneath. A sudden thought struck me, of a pair of strong muscular tattooed arms tossing me in the air only to catch me as I squealed with joy. I was awoken from my memory by him pushing his way through the door and answering me with a short confused,

"No."

I was about to ask him what he was doing here and if perhaps he had come to the wrong house, when I heard Bilbo coming down the hall.

"Kian, who is at the door? Is it Hamfast?" asked Bilbo as he walked into the entry hall. At the sight of Dwalin he stopped dead in tracks. Dwalin turned and eyed him up and down.

"Which way laddie?" he asked throwing his cloak at me while addressing Bilbo. "Is it down here?"

"Is what down where?" Bilbo squeaked.

"Supper. He said there'd be food and lots of it." answered Dwalin walking off in search of the supper he had clearly been promised.

Bilbo and I followed him, bewildered. We both shared a confused look.

"H-he said?" Bilbo called after Dwalin

"Who said?" I muttered to myself.

We found him sitting at the kitchen table helping himself to both Bilbo and _my_ own supper, eating in the most appalling manner that it shocked even me. Sure, I'd be the first person to tell you that I'm not overly concerned about proper table manners, but even I wouldn't do something like this, well at least not in Bilbo's presence. I sat down quietly and watched him curiously while Bilbo sat in the corner, offended and apprehensive.

You would have thought from seeing the way he ate, that Dwalin hadn't had a proper meal for a week. And if he had journeyed from Ered Luin, that could very well be the case. I watched absently as Bilbo offered Dwalin to his seed cakes my mind drifting.

I could not shake the feeling that I had seen this Dwalin before. I stared down at my hands as little fragments came to mind: Me playing with a beautiful sword as long as myself and nearly skewering my foot with it when a harsh voice called out. The sound of a deep merry laughter in the firelight. Golden hair and golden smiles. Clinging to the back of a pony as it raced away frightened and an equally frightened high pitched voice screaming for me to stop...

I jumped when I heard the doorbell ring again. I looked at Bilbo, I stood to answer it again. Surely it was Gandalf for certain this time!

"No, no, Kian... I'll get it." said Bilbo, stumping off to see who it was this time.

I turned back to Dwalin and found him looking at me strangely.

I wanted to ask him a hundred questions. But I settled for just one, if for nothing else to break the silence.

"H-have, have you passed through the Shire before?"

"No. This would be the first time." he answered, his eyes never losing their strange glint.

He didn't say anymore, he just stood, having eaten all the food he could see near the table, and made his way through to the parlor where he spied a cookie jar on the mantle and proceeded to assault it, which resulted in him getting his hand stuck. I chuckled at the sight. He looked like a giant bear with it's paw in honey jar. I heard laughter from the front hall and turned to see a white haired dwarf in red tunic come striding into the parlor.

"Evening Brother!"

I did a double take. Brother? But our newest guest looked so much older than Dwalin. My eyes flicked between them as they exchanged some manner of ritual headbutt, a few smiles and laughs, with many a shoulder clap. I had to smile as well, their good humor was infectious. I was just contemplating if a headbutt was the typical form of greeting in dwarven culture, when the new comer seemed to notice me standing confused and smiling at the pair of them.

"Hello there, laddie. Balin, at your service!"

I bowed and actually managed to reply back respectfully, something I had failed at with Dwalin, not that he had cared a bit, but this Balin just might.

"Kian, at yours and your families!"

Balin looked me up and down for moment before asking.

"Do you live here laddie?"

"I do, I believe you have just had the pleasure of meeting my guardian." I said, gesturing to Bilbo.

Balin only nodded and exchanged a glance with his brother. His brother, I still couldn't wrap my head around that one.

"How can you two be brothers? You're just so old!"

It was out of my mouth before I could stop myself. I bit my lip apprehensively but Dwalin apparently found it humorous, as he laughed and clapped me one the shoulder.

"I told you, I wasn't the only one who thought you were too old to be my brother!"

Balin grinned good naturedly and I found myself joining them. This felt so right! Not that being with Bilbo didn't feel right too, but it was a different kind of feeling. The feeling was short lived as Bilbo chose to interrupt it.

"Uh...excuse me. Sorry. I hate to interrupt. B-but the thing is, I'm not entirely sure you're in the right house."

Neither dwarf paid any attention to him as Dwalin lead him through the kitchen to the larder, where he filled his elder brother a pint from the beer barrel. The pair of them began inspecting the food for apparently Balin hadn't eaten no more than his brother had. I had stopped listening to Bilbo's protests at our guests awhile ago. Even if I didn't want them here, which I found that I did, they certainly weren't going anywhere, so I began to wonder why Bilbo was still trying to make them leave. I was about to say as much to Bilbo when I saw a piece of blue cheese be thrown in my general direction, by Dwalin. I narrowly avoided it and it landed with a satisfying squish. Bilbo appeared to be trying once again to remove the dwarves but I missed what he had said as I was distracted by the doorbell ringing a third time.

"Do you want me to get that, Bilbo? Bilbo?" I sighed and turned to the door. This had to have been the strangest birthday I had ever had. I opened the door and flung it wide and stared.

Golden haired dwarf with a golden smile greeted me with a,

"Fili at your service!" as he bowed low.

It was far too similar for my taste. His name...It was just like my real name. But no, Fili was most likely a common dwarf name. I shook myself a little and he quirked a brow at me.

"Are you someone Thorin recruited on his travels to the north?"

I had no idea who this Thorin was but it was clear that he had arranged or had help arrange this meeting of dwarves in Bilbo's home. I realized that our newest guest was still waiting for an answer.

"No, no I am not a new recruit. I have no idea what you're talking about, actually, but since there's no reason for you to just stand on the doorstep come on in." I smiled, trying to banish the flutter in my stomach. "I thought that you would just waltz in like Dwalin did."

Fili grinned.

"Then I am in the right place. Good. I got lost, all these houses look the same!"

I grinned again, a genuine one this time.

"You just have to get used to it is all. I know these lands like the back of my hand! I'm Kil...Kian at your service."

"Kian?" Fili nodded and asked "You live here?"

"I do. I've lived here most of my life. This is my guardian's, Bilbo Baggins' home. No doubt he would try to welcome you properly if he wasn't currently trying to eradicate Balin and Dwalin from his pantry."

"I wish him luck with that one!" Fili laughed, "Though he may wish that it was just them when Bombur shows."

"Are there more dwarves coming?"

"Oh yes, there's twelve us coming." Fili answered absently minded, as he looked around. "It's nice this place. Did you do it yourself? And where are the weapon racks?" he asked, as he began removing numerous knives and axes and loaded my arms full of them.

"Uhhhh, No, it's been in the family for years...And there isn't any need for weapons in the Shire, but I have a weapons holder in my room that you can keep these on."

"Much appreciated." Fili said as he put his duel swords in the pile. "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened."

"I know how to handle a blade!" I said testily.

"In the kitchen perhaps." Fili laughed.

I glared and threw his weapons to the floor, save for one small knife. Ignoring his cry of protest, I swept his legs out from under him, throwing him to the ground. I was on top of him before he could blink and held his own knife at his throat. I was careful that the edge wasn't actually touching him. I growled in mock anger and was highly satisfied when Fili looked slightly intimidated. I burst out laughing at the look on his face and stood up helping him to stand as well.

"Perhaps I was mistaken." Fili grinned sheepishly. "Remind me to never again judge by appearances and assumptions alone!"

"That wouldn't have been nearly as easy if you were ready for me." I said modestly. "I have taught myself how to fight as much as I can. I'm decent in a fist fight, far better than any hobbit! I'm not excellent with a sword but I can hold my own. I'm best with a bow."

"Useful skills. I'm surprised that you did teach yourself. You said that there is no need for weapons here. These hobbits don't seem to need them."

"Well, like you said, they are useful skills to know. And I'm not a hobbit, am I?"

"I'm pretty sure that you would be the strangest hobbit I would have ever seen if you were indeed one! You said that you are good with a bow?" Fili sighed dramatically "Now see what you have done to your poor guest? Wounded my pride _and_ made me jealous! How inhospitable of you!"

Now it was my turn to raise a brow at him and look questioningly at his words. With a smile he explained,

"I'm not very good with a bow myself. I tried to learn I just don't have the eye and aim for it. Two swords in my hands have always felt best to me."

I let my grin be my reply as I bent down to retrieve the scattered weapons and was surprised when Fili also stooped to gather them up.

"You don't have to do that. I am the one that threw them to the ground."

"I provoked you into it. It's only fair."

I shrugged and allowed him to scoop up half of the pile, snickering when he nicked his finger on one of his knives.

"Oh, now who is it that can't handle a blade?"

"Hush up!" Fili snapped, but the muffled chuckle said that he had not taken offense.

As I lead the way to my room, I found that it was so easy to talk to Fili. Almost as easy as talking to one's own brother. Brother. I silently reprimanded myself for the thought that had come to mind. It was clear that this Fili was not the brother that had pushed my little boat into the river. That was just my own wishful thinking. I shrugged my shoulders and opened the door to my room. After Fili and I had set his weapons on the rack and put the rest in one of my boxes, he turned and looked around.

"Is this your bow?" said Fili as he spotted it hanging on the wall.

"I just got it today, it was my birthday present."

"It's beautiful! It's-wait...Today's your birthday? How old are you?" Fili asked.

"Sixty-four."

"Five years younger than me then!" Fili laughed. "Who made your bow, if I might ask? It's clearly dwarven made."

I told Fili of Brokk. He knew the dwarf and said that he was a good friend of his uncle. I then told him the story of my 'payment'.

"I bet the old dwarf got quite the laugh out of that one!" Fili laughed.

"Oh, he did!" I smiled.

"Did he make your vambraces for you, as well? They don't look to be his craftsmanship to me."

"No, he didn't, I made them. I also made this."

I reached under the bed and pulled my sword from it's box and showed him. I could tell from the look on his face that he was impressed.

"You made this?"

I nodded and toed the floor.

"I know the local blacksmith, Regrin. After he saw my ability he allowed me full reign of the forge." I paused when I heard Bilbo's angry voice ringing against the walls,

_"No, no! There's nobody home! Go away and bother somebody else! There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If this is some clot-heads idea of a joke, I can only say that it is in very poor taste!"_

"I think it's probably time to head back."

"I do believe you are right!" agreed Fili.

When Fili and I returned to the parlor, I found that Bag-End had gotten considerably smaller. There were eight more dwarves accosting Bilbo's pantries instead of just two, as well as Gandalf. He had indeed shown up as he had said he would, bringing the party with him apparently. I easily spotted the Bombur that Fili had spoken of earlier. He was a massive dwarf and round with three chins that wobbled when he ate, which it seemed he was already. He had a chicken leg hanging out of his mouth as he carried platters of food to the dining room table. I laughed at Bilbo who stood turning around in a circle trying to catch each dwarf that took something from the larder. I could barely hear his protests over the noise from everyone else, though occasionally I caught a _"Excuse me...t-that's my chicken... Put that back! Put that back! ___Excuse me! Not my wine!_" _or a _"That is a book, not a coaste__r! Put that down, thank you! Excuse me!"_ My attention was commandeered by Fili who nudged me in the ribs.

"Those over there are my cousins, Oin and Gloin!" said Fili, pointing them out, as he lead me to the beer barrels. "And over there is Bombur's brother and cousin, Bofur and Bifur."

I stared at Bifur for a moment he had an axe head sticking out of his skull just above his left eye. He was babbling in some form of gibberish, but when I stopped and actually listened to him, I discovered that he was speaking Khuzdul, and I thanked my lucky stars that I had at least learned a little of it. Bofur was just as equally strange with his funny looking hat, though at least he didn't have weaponry coming out of his head.

"And this is Nori...and Ori, who is Nori's younger brother. Ah! And Dori, elder brother to both Nori and Ori! There you go! That's everyone here, except Balin and Dwalin and you know them already. Now come on lend a hand with this beer barrel!" Fili said with a wink.

I grinned, and helped him lift it to a more easily accessible location. Then I turned and began to help lay out the food for supper. I passed Gandalf who was counting the dwarves on his fingers when the one with an axe in his head said something in Khuzdul that I couldn't catch, though apparently Gandalf had because he answered the dwarf with a,

"You're quite right, Bifur...We appear to be one dwarf short..."

"He travelled north to a meeting of our kin, he will come." said Dwalin gruffly taking a swig from his beer.

I assumed that they spoke of the Thorin that Fili had mentioned, but before I could ask who they meant, I felt Fili grab me by the arm and lead me back to the table.

"Come on, the others want to meet you."

He dragged me into the dining room and having being introduced officially to everyone and a few awkward moments, Bofur finally laughed and said,

"It doesn't matter where ye were raised, yer still a dwarf! Come on lads let's get a drink!"

Everyone laughed and seemed to accept me into their group as they thrust a beer into my hand and pulled me to the table, where I ended up sitting beside the starfish headed Nori.

Supper was a merry messy affair, what with twelve dwarves and and wizard, there was food flying and being tossed to whichever person needed whatever at the time. Bilbo did not see fit to join us and glared at the party from his ransacked pantry. I cast him an apologetic glance, seeing as how he did have a right to complain about the amount of unwelcome guests currently sitting at his dining room table, eating him out of house and home. Not that there was much either he nor I could have done to remove these guests, so I went with the course of things. My attention was distracted from Bilbo by Bofur throwing an egg at Bombur and Bombur spectacularly catching it in his mouth. I cheered as hard as everyone else and I began to enjoy myself. The dwarves bantered back and forth cheerily and even Gandalf joined in with their antics. I relaxed and laughed at everything. I laughed more than I could ever remember laughing. I laughed when Fili slipped on something on the floor as he left the dining room for something, I laughed when somebody threw a piece of bread and it knocked the tomatoes off of Gandalf's plate, I laughed when Dwalin poured beer down Oin's hearing trumpet, I laughed as Fili came back, walking on the table, bringing more beer with him.

"Who wants an ale? There you go!"

"Over here brother!"

I stopped and almost choked on the food that I had in my mouth. Had I actually just called Fili my brother? I turned bright red and was about to apologize to Fili but before I could speak a mug was handed to me. I was shaking so bad that I accidentally dropped it, but no one seemed to notice, so I picked it up from where it had fallen. It was nearly empty now that most of it contents had been spilled on the dining room floor. I sighed and shrugged and was about to refill it when Bofur shouted,

"Ale on the count of three!" Bofur lifted his tankard. "One, Two, Three!"

All the dwarves gulped their beers down quickly in record time and I finished off the little bit that was left in the bottom of my own tankard. From beside me Nori let out the loudest belch ever to have graced Bag-End, that is until his younger brother Ori outdid him! I could see Bilbo cringe from where I was before I turned back to the group, and once again became lost in the ongoings of this company of dwaves that made me feel so much at home.

Despite the amount of food that was consumed, supper was over fairly quickly, though a few remained to finish off the last bits, or rather one did. Bombur it seemed liked to circle the table and pick up any scrapes that the others might have left on their plates. Well at least I knew now why he was so fat. He was a danger to any pantry that he came near, and there would be no doubt in anyone's mind, when the skirmish began the pantry would most certainly lose the battle. I smiled at the thought of an armored Bombur assaulting an unsuspecting larder as I walked to me room to fetch my pipe. When I came back I saw Ori come up to a very aggravated Bilbo.

"Excuse me...I'm sorry to interrupt...But what should I do with my plate?" asked Ori, a little timidly.

"Here you go, Ori, give it to me." said Fili taking it from the dwarf.

I looked on slightly puzzled, Fili didn't know where to put the dishes anymore than his friend did. I looked up at Gandalf and almost laughed. I was surprised when Gandalf dodged out of the way and a plate be thrown my way and was even more surprised when I caught it one handedly. Without thinking I threw it into the kitchen, there was no sound of shattering so I assumed that one of the dwarves had caught the flying crockery. I felt a little bad that I had just thrown Bilbo's mother's West Farthing pottery, after all it was over a hundred years old, but this was simply too fun to stop so I threw another, actually looking this time to see if someone had caught it. The strange one with the axe in his head, Bifur, had caught it and washed it before throwing it to the next dwarf, who placed it on a neat stack on the table. I turned back as Fili threw a bowl at me. I caught it with my foot and kicked it skyward, catching it and sending that one to Bifur as well. I heard Bilbo ask that the dwarves not blunt the knives. I let out a laugh and for whatever reason a silly little song came to my head and I started to sing:

_Blunt the knives, bend the forks!_

Fili caught on immediately and continued with his own line:

_Smash the bottles and burn the corks!_

The dwarves were on a roll now and everyone joined in with a glorious:

_Chip the glasses and crack the plates!_  
_That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!_

_Cut the cloth, tread on the fat,_  
_leave the bones on the bedroom mat!_  
_Pour the milk on the pantry floor,_  
_splash the wine on every door!_

_Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl,  
pound them up with a thumping pole,  
when you're finished, if they are whole,  
Send them down the hall to roll!  
__  
_

Bofur played a little on his fiddle before the company ended the song with a raucous shout:

_That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!_

I burst out laughing at the look on Bilbo's face as he came bursting into the kitchen. He was completely astonished at all the clean dishes stacked on the end of the table. I couldn't help my breathless laughter or my exclamation of,

"Look at his face!"

The dwarves burst into fresh laughter at Bilbo who grinned sheepishly. He tucked his thumbs into braces and gave us all a look that clearly said,

_"Thank you! For a moment there, I thought you were breaking my dishes instead of cleaning them!"_

Our laughter was cut short by the sound of someone banging on the door. I turned bewildered and only became more so by Gandalf's somewhat foreboding words.

"He is here."

* * *

**A/N: Please review!**


	4. Of Conversations And Contracts

**A/N: I know that it took me forever to finish the revisions, but I hope that it helped and from here on out it will be new chapters!  
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**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Tolkien's**

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My Brother's Lullaby

Of Conversations And Contracts

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_"He is here."_

For whatever reason a very strange uneasiness came over me. I gulped. 'He' could only be the Thorin that I had heard about. Looking around at the company, I saw that everyone had become very serious. They all glanced at each other and turned to go meet the newcomer and I followed them to the outer hall. For some reason I was beyond apprehensive, and I had no reason to be. Though from the way the other dwarves all spoke of him, he was obviously of some importance. Thorin...The name sounded familiar to me. Perhaps I had read in a book somewhere. I drew in a deep breath as I came to a halt beside Fili. I would be finding out who Thorin was soon enough and it would be better not to speculate and worry, after all I had liked all the other dwarves, why wouldn't I like this one? Letting my breath out in a low sigh, Gandalf swung the door open and I then saw him.

He was tall for a dwarf, probably as tall as myself, with long jet black hair that had begun to go gray at the top. He reminded me of a wolf, the alpha, the lone leader of pack. I barely listened to the few exchanges made between the dwarf and Gandalf as I looked at Thorin. I was feeling much the same way as I did when I had first seen Fili. Thorin looked familiar to me, but then so had Dwalin and Fili. There was something in his icy blue eyes that I couldn't place. But before I could think of it more Gandalf had turned to Bilbo and began the introductions.

"May I present the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield."

My eyes widened. That was were I had known the name from, it was in one of my history books. Thorin Oakenshield of the line of Durin. Prince of the Dwarves, would be king of Erebor. Small wonder the others had spoken of him so reverently. He smiled indulgently at Fili before his eyes fell on me and they narrowed suspiciously. He shoved his cloak in my hands without saying a word, or even glancing at me. It was really not that much different from Dwalin's greetings, though for some reason, Thorin was decidedly less pleasant than Dwalin. Exiled prince to a lost kingdom or not, I scowled at him but didn't say anything though I was sorely tempted to drop it in the floor and leave there for him to get. I threw it down on the glory box and turned back to hear Thorin sneer at Bilbo.

"So...this is the hobbit. Tell me Master Baggins, have you done much fighting?"

"Pardon me?"

"Ax or sword? What's your weapon of choice?"

"Well I do have some skill at conkers, if you must know..." said Bilbo, "...But I fail to see why that's relevant."

"Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." Thorin smirked, as he turned away and disappeared down the hall.

Hardly the words befitting a guest, any guest, to his host, and I glared at the back of Thorin's head. Bilbo had put up with a great deal from the other eleven dwarves that had assaulted his home, but even they had shown better manners than this dwarf. He had no right to sneer at Bilbo. Though the rest of the dwarves didn't seem to think so, they laughed at Bilbo's expense and then followed their leader to the dining room. I followed slowly, walking with Gandalf and Bilbo, who looked hurt at Thorin's statement. To say that I was angry would have been an understatement. Thorin was the leader of this company of dwarves and those were the only words he could find to say to his host? I ground my teeth to stop myself from saying out loud to his face. When the three of us reached the dining room we found the company sitting at the table and they had supplied Thorin with a bowl of broth and some bread. Gandalf seated himself beside Thorin, but there was hardly any other seats to be found. I made to stand beside Bilbo in the entrance, when Fili called out.

"Kian, there's a seat next to me. There's space."

I glanced at Bilbo and he gave me a small nod so I squeezed my way past the other dwarves and sat down beside Fili. I looked up and saw Thorin's eyes on me. I wanted to look away from the cold hard glare that he was giving me, but refused to give into this little skirmish, so I returned his gaze until he finally spoke.

"And who is this young dwarf?" He asked with a raised brow.

"Kian, of Bag-End." I answered the question as coldly as he had asked it.

Thorin's glare darkened but he said nothing of my disrespect and instead chose to ask another question.

"And what is a dwarf, doing here, living in the Shire, aligning himself with foreigners?"

I bristled at the barbed question. Thorin couldn't apparently could say nothing if it didn't insult Bilbo or the Shire.

"I live here! I've lived here almost my whole life, being cared for by Bilbo." I answered.

Thorin glared and raised a brow, turning to Bilbo he demanded angrily.

"What did you do, keep a lost dwarfling to do your housework for you?"

Bilbo began to splutter incoherently and stared at Thorin, and I became angry myself. There was no need to accuse Bilbo of anything, especially when there was no proof or evidence to even suggest such a thing. The other dwarves had been curious of my situation here with Bilbo, but they had accepted my answers readily, and certainly had not attacked Bilbo!

"No, he did not!" I snapped at the older dwarf, leaping from my seat and drawing myself up to my full heighth. Thorin raised his brows at me, questioning my insolence. "Bilbo found me half dead and was kind enough to take me in and raise me as his own! He even searched for my real family, but since I could barely talk at the time and don't really remember much he had little to go by! There was absolutely no need to accuse him of keeping me here as a slave! Do I look like I have been kept as a slave?"

"So you would stand by one who is not even your own kind against one who is?" Thorin glared.

"When that one has saved you from death and raised you your whole life, then yes I would stand by him."

My eyes slid over to a very stunned Bilbo. His expression was a mix of astonishment, mortification, and pride. Astonished that I would say such a thing to a guest, mortified that I had actually said that to a guest, and proud that I had. But Bilbo was all that I had, and though being with this band of dwarves, excluding their leader, had feel right, it was still Bilbo that had taken me and raised me, and I was not going to let someone, anyone, king or not slander him like this. But Bilbo had always taught me to be courteous to a guest and what I had said had been a severe breach in that rule. So I sighed and turned back to Thorin and said,

"I apologize, Sir."

Thorin grunted and opened his mouth but I cut across him before he could speak.

"I apologize for being disrespectful to a guest of my guardian's house, but I do not apologize for the words, I meant them with all sincerity!"

Thorin jumped up from his chair and looked as though he was about to shout at me but I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and saw that Fili had shook his head at Thorin, who then sat back down and glared daggers at me. I wondered at this, why Thorin Oakenshield, exiled King of the dwarves would obey someone so young. I cast a sidelong confused glance at Fili who gave a look that clearly said _'Not right now.' _Thorin dug fiercely at the soup and the rest of the company sat in an awkward silence until Balin broke the silence by asking Thorin,

"What news from the meeting Ered Luin? Did they all come?"

"Aye, envoys from all seven kingdoms."

"All of them!" cried Balin amidst the rest of the companies own cries of astonishment.

"And what do the dwarves of the Iron Hills say? Is Dain with us?" asked Dwalin.

Thorin sighed and flicked his eyes at the company and said quietly.

"They will not come." Dwalin closed his eyes and shook his head sadly. "They say this quest is ours and ours alone."

The dwarves murmured unhappily and looked at each other disbelievingly and would have continued most likely if Bilbo and stepped towards the table and asked confusedly.

"Y-you're going on a quest?"

Everyone turned to look at Bilbo and Gandalf quickly said.

"Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light." Bilbo nodded and grabbed a candle as Gandalf continued, "Far to the east, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands...lies a solitary peak."

Gandalf smoothed a worn map out on the table as Bilbo held the candle closer to the paper and read aloud,

"The Lonely Mountain."

"Oin has read the portents and the portents say, it is time!" said Gloin.

"Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain, as it was foretold. 'When the birds of yore return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end.'" Oin said.

Beast? I blinked. I had all but forgotten why Erebor had fallen in the first place. My eyes flickered over to Bilbo who had turned away from the company, hoping that he hadn't heard. I saw his back go rigid and knew that he had. He quickly turned around and stared at the company.

"Uh, what beast?" he asked hesitantly.

"Oh, that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age." supplied Bofur. My eyes grew wide and I looked over, alarmed, to see how Bilbo had taken such information. And I was not the only one who threw concerned glances Bilbo's way, Gandalf had as well. Bilbo was nervously rubbing his fingers together, a habit of his when he was frightened, and to make matters worse Bofur decided to continue his very descriptive explanation.

"Airborne fire-breather, teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks, extremely fond of precious metals-"

"Yes, I know what a dragon is." interrupted Bilbo with a fake smile.

Ori suddenly jumped up and said that he wasn't afraid of the dragon. I couldn't help but think that Ori may be thinking differently after he came face to face with Smaug the Terrible. Apparently his elder brother thought so as well since he had pulled him back down to his seat with a sharp reprimand. I almost laughed at Ori's statement, Bilbo could have stood a better chance in a fight than he could.

"The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us, but we number just thirteen, and not thirteen of the best...nor brightest." said Balin

There was many discontented grumblings at Balin's words and I could have sworn I heard Nori say, _'Hey! Who are you calling dim?'_, but Fili quickly quelled their mutterings.

"We may be few in number, but we're fighters, all of us! To the last dwarf!" said Fili, thumping the table with his fist to emphasize his point.

"Well maybe not to the _last_ dwarf." said Thorin with a sneer and a pointed look at me.

I looked down and felt my face redden. I started fiddling with my vambraces looking at anything but the company. It was clear the Thorin at least doubted my usefulness just as much as he doubted Bilbo's. I wondered briefly how many of the others thought the same. Dwalin probably did. I was startled from my inner wonderings by Fili stating with a grin.

"I wouldn't discount Kian's ability to fight just yet uncle. He managed to throw me on my back."

"Ye did, did you?" asked Dwalin. "There's not many that could have done that to our Fili. The lad's quick and light on his feet. You must be as well."

He gave me a curious look, as if wanting to see for himself if I was good enough. The company all wore similar expressions, a strange mixture of astonishment, and curiosity. Though at the moment I didn't care, I was still focusing on the what Fili had just said. _Uncle? _Thorin Oakenshield was Fili's uncle? Fili was a _prince_? It made sense though, that since they were on their way to reclaim Erebor, both the exiled king and prince would be embarking on the journey. I lost track of the conversation I was so caught up in my own thoughts and was rudely awakened from them by Thorin shouting something in Khuzdul.

"If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for sixty years. Eyes look to the mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?"

I had to admit, Thorin was quite the motivational speaker. The company cheered at Thorin's words and banged the table to emphasize their cheers. Even I felt inspired, though I refrained from cheering with the rest. But Balin suddenly spoke up, destroying the good humor of the rest of the dwarves.

"You forget, the Front Gate is sealed. There is no way into the mountain."

"That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." said Gandalf, as he twirled a large key between his fingers.

Thorin appeared to recognize it for he gasped in wonder,

"How came you by this?"

"It was given to me by your father, by Thrain. For safekeeping. It is your's now." said Gandalf, as he placed the key in Thorin's hand.

The whole table went silent and I felt as if some passing of the mantel had taken place. That Thorin's predecessors were giving this task to the company. That Thrain, through Gandalf, had passed this quest on to his son. I was probably overthinking it, Bilbo would have told me so, but I couldn't help but feel that way.  
I had been musing this when Fili said,

"If there is a key, there must be a door."

Gandalf happily supplied the answer

"These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls."

"There's another way in!" I exclaimed, getting excited in spite of myself.

Fili grinned at me and surprisingly so did Thorin. I didn't have the chance to wonder at this as Gandalf had spoken again.

"Well if we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed." Gandalf sighed. "The answer lies somewhere hidden in this map and I do not have the skill to find it. But there are others in Middle Earth who can. The task I have in mind, will require a great deal of stealth and no small amount of courage." said Gandalf, as he smiled encouragingly at Bilbo. "But if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done."

"That's why we need a burglar!" piped up Ori.

I glanced at the company and then to Bilbo. He had yet to realize that he was the burglar in question and I silently prayed to the maker that Bilbo would figure that out before he opened his mouth. My prayer went unanswered as Bilbo choose to say,

"Hmm, and a good one too. An expert I'd imagine."

"And are you?" demanded Gloin while at the same time his brother said loudly,

"He said he's an expert!"

Oin laughed holding up his ear trumpet, completely mishearing what was said. Bilbo paled and quickly tried to explain.

"Me? No. No, no, no. I'm not a burglar! I've never stolen a thing in my life."

"Well, I'm afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins. He's hardly burglar material."

Bilbo made a gesture of agreement with Balin and Dwalin spoke up.

"Aye the wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves."

"He's just fine!" I said quickly trying to shore things up a bit as Bilbo now agreed with Dwalin.

My words fell on deaf ears as the dwarves burst into incomprehensible babbling and agreements that I couldn't understand. The sound was grating and I nearly jumped from my seat to tell the them to shut up, but Gandalf beat me to it.

"Enough!" shouted Gandalf, as he rose from his seat. "If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is."

Everyone stared at the wizard to shocked to speak. I swear I think that Gandalf must have used magic to silence them. replacing his seat, Gandalf continued despite Bilbo's protests.

"Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact they can pass by most unseen if they choose. And while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of dwarf, the scent of a hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the final members of this company and I have chosen Mr. Baggins and Kian. There's a lot more to them than appearances suggest. And they've got a great deal more to offer than any of you know! Including themselves."

Gandalf's eyes twinkled. I smiled at him, I was glad that Gandalf had taken it upon himself to stand up for me and Bilbo, though I was sure that Bilbo was not. If the the look of Bilbo's face was an indicator I would have had to say that he certainly was not. He was looking at Gandalf as though he had just sprouted daisies from his beard.

"You must trust me on this." ended Gandalf, and he gave Thorin a pointed look.

"Very well. We'll do it your way." Thorin conceded. "Give him the contract."

Bilbo tried desperately to speak but Balin cut across him.

"It's just the summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth."

"Funeral arrangements?" Bilbo squeaked startled, as the contract was thrust into his hands.

I winced, knowing exactly how well Bilbo would take that bit of news. But he surprised me by keeping his feet and not fainting. He unfolded the parchment and began to read with a sigh. Thorin suddenly stood from his seat and whispered to Gandalf. I couldn't catch the words, though from the look on Gandalf's face it must not have been pleasant. All I heard was Gandalf's reluctant reply of 'Agreed.' I felt a little nervous, not knowing what had just taken place, but as there was nothing I could do about it I turned my attention back to Bilbo. Everything seemed to be going well until I heard Bilbo read aloud.

"Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted or sustained by as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to, lacerations..." My head snapped up and I cast him a worried glance, but Bilbo continued. "Evisceration...incineration?" Bilbo demanded, turning to the company.

"Oh aye, he'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye." said Bofur in his overly cheery voice.

I cringed. Not the words I would have chosen when trying to convince a skeptical and now scared hobbit into joining you on, what was most likely a suicide mission that would probably end poorly. I saw Bilbo go white and gasp a little for air and I feared this time he wouldn't be able to stop himself from fainting.

"You alright laddie?" asked Balin.

"Huh? Yeah, I huh, feel a bit faint." Bilbo gasped doubling over.

Then the ever present unhelpful Bofur struck again.

"Think furnace with wings."

"Air. I need air."

Bilbo wiped the sweat from his upper lip and clutched his chest, but Bofur wasn't finished by a long shot.

"Flash of light, searing pain and then poof! You're nothing more than a pile of ash!"

My eyes grew wide at the sight of Bilbo clearly panicking and I actually began to fear for his health. But still Bilbo kept his feet and I began to whisper under my breath, 'Come on Bilbo, come on Bilbo, come on Bilbo!' And then as if to answer my silently whispered pleas Bilbo suddenly shuddered and said,

"Nope."

And promptly passed out.

I was the second person to reach him, Gandalf being the first simply because there was no table in his way that he had to climb over. I roughly shoved Thorin out of my way and knelt beside Bilbo. Bofur stood beside me and muttered something that sounded like 'I'm sorry.' But I paid him no mind as I quickly checked Bilbo's breathing and pulse, and once I was satisfied that he would wake up in a moment I breathed a sigh of relief. Sure enough after a few seconds had passed by Bilbo's eyes flickered open and he groaned. I helped him to feet and asked if he was alright. Bilbo nodded and whispered that he needed to sit. So I lead him to the parlor, got him into his armchair, and then hurried off to fix him up a cup of strong tea. As I passed by Thorin to the kitchen I heard him mutter under breath.

"Good little maid."

I would have liked nothing better than to punch him in the mouth, but Bilbo needed me more than Thorin needed my fist in his teeth. So I said nothing and quickly brewed some tea for Bilbo and brought it back to him. I handed him the steaming mug, which Bilbo accepted gratefully. He must have caught my worried glance for he rushed to reassure me.

"I'll be alright just let me sit quietly for a moment."

"You've been sitting for far to long!" reprimanded Gandalf.

Having no wish to listen to a scathing lecture from Gandalf, even if it wasn't directed at me, I left the two together and went fill up my beer mug. I down several of them and avoided the looks of the company. I didn't want to see the disappointed looks from the dwarves or the apologetic glances of Bofur. I was just finishing the fourth cupful when I saw Bilbo walking off to his room. I got up to follow him and as I rounded the corner I saw Thorin and Balin in conversation.

"And what about you?" Thorin snapped as I drew near.

"What about me?" I glared.

"Your guardian has chosen not to accompany us, but will you?" He snarled. "Will you accompany your own kind to reclaim our," he paused a moment. "_Your _home?"

"My guardian's name is Bilbo. And if he has decided to stay, then I will stay as well. He has raised me nearly my whole life to his own hurt. Blood kin or no, to leave him now would be a dishonor. And you know that! It such by the laws of the Dwarves." I spun on my heel about to leave him, before I turned back and said, "And I have a home, thank you." And with that I left him with Balin.

I found out minutes later from Gandalf that Bilbo had retired to his room and was planning on staying, quite safe and sound in his comfortable hobbit hole. Even though I had meant every word I had said to Thorin I had to admit I was disappointed that Bilbo had decided to stay, disappointed, but not surprised. Though I was not sure I could have even handled a journey with Thorin Oakenshield for very long. I sighed and filled me up another tankard. Fili came up beside me and fill up his own mug.

"What was that about?" Fili asked, jerking his head back towards Thorin.

I shrugged, not quite sure myself. Thorin was angry at me and Bilbo and that was all I knew, and I didn't care to know. I had no idea why he had taken such a disliking to me and Bilbo. All I knew was that I didn't like Thorin. I shook my head and I quickly swallowed the ale, before filling it up once again.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Fili laughed, nodding at my mug.

"No." I agreed with him. My head was beginning to feel pleasantly fuzzy and I could only assume that I was beginning to get tipsy. And with an irate Thorin in the house I was sure that I would probably want my wits about me.

I was about to deposit it down the drain when I heard the sound of soft singing from parlor. It was Thorin. I blinked at Fili and he half smiled and turned and followed the sound back to the parlor, pulling out his pipe as he went. I trailed behind him, still holding my tankard. Taking a seat in front of the fireplace, I listened quietly to Thorin deep voice as he sang.

_Far over the Misty Mountains cold  
__To dungeons deep and caverns old  
We must away ere break of day  
To find our long forgotten gold_

_The pines were roaring on the height  
The winds were moaning in the night  
The fire was red, it flaming spread  
The trees like torches blazed with light_

I felt a strange feeling settle in my heart as I listened to their song. A jealous love. A fierce and covetous desire to win back all the gold in Erebor, the desire of the hearts of the dwarves. I suddenly wished to see the great mountain, explore the grand halls, and carry a sword instead of a walking stick. I looked out the window. The stars were shining brightly against the dark sky and I thought of the jewels of Erebor glistening in the dark halls. A fire suddenly was lit up on the hill and I thought of Bilbo having to face a plundering dragon that had settled himself in Erebor and I shuddered, becoming once again, Kian of Bag-End.

I turned back to the fire and glared into it. I thought of Bilbo having to face a dragon. That though alone was enough to make me never want to set one foot any closer to Erebor than I had to. But I could not help the feeling of longing. A longing that I didn't understand. The restlessness had settled back in my heart after hearing their song, and as always when that feeling took hold of me my senses left me. I shook myself with a sigh and went to dump the remaining contents of my mug.

It was not long after their song that the dwarves began bedding down for the night. I gave Thorin the guest bedroom, simply because if I had given it to one of the others they would have insisted he take it anyway and I gave Balin my room. Which left me the parlor, with the rest of the company. I curled up against the far wall, letting the others get the furniture and the places closest to the fire. I was sure that the dwarves would be angry with both me and Bilbo for deciding to stay, Thorin certainly was, at least at me. I sighed. For some reason, the thought that the dwarves were angry at me bothered me, though I suppose it shouldn't have. I was convinced that the company would leave me be and not speak to me. I could tell that whether or not they agreed with Thorin, they always went with what he said or did. So I was expecting the cold shoulder by everyone. I wasn't far off. Dori glared at me. So did Nori, though I suspected that was because I had stopped him from pilfering a piece or two of Bilbo's fine silver spoons. Most just looked indifferent. I sighed again and faced the wall so I wouldn't have to see the looks. I was actually beginning to get drowsy, lulled by the soft movements of the others when I felt someone come up behind me. It was Fili.

"Make a space." He said with a grin, as he nudged me with his foot.

I slid over a little so that he could have some of the soft carpet, and he flashed me another grin before throwing himself down next to me.

"Thanks much better. The others wanted the warmth from the hearth but the floor's too hard for me."

"Yes, we wouldn't want to hurt your poor, tender, princely back." I all but snarled, as I turned away from him.

I heard him sit up and could tell that he was looking at me strangely. I waited for him to speak first but when it became clear that he wasn't going to, I rolled over and demanded to know why he was looking at me.

"Because I'm curious as to why you are angry with me."

"The other dwarves seem to agree with Thorin on everything, why shouldn't you?" I snapped, turning away again.

"If that was meant to explain something, you may need to try again. You just confused me more." said Fili.

"Thorin is angry that Bilbo and I aren't joining you, therefore the rest of them are, so why would you not be as well?"

"Oh. Well, I can't exactly speak for the others, but I'm convinced they aren't angry with either of you. Maybe a little disappointed." said Fili with a slight smile.

"Then why did Dori glare at me?"

"He was hoping that Nori would behave himself and was just upset that you found him out." laughed Fili. I raised my brows at this so Fili added. "Nori is a thief. Been in jail before because of it and didn't even care and that upsets Dori. He's really actually angry at Nori not you."

I nodded feeling relieved, though my rational mind was telling me that there was no reason I should. But the fact remained that I was glad that this motley group of old warriors, tinkers and toymakers were not angry at me or Bilbo. Two still may be, and one of them was a certainty.

"And are you?" I asked. Fili looked confused. "Angry I mean." I added.

"Of course I am!" said Fili "You, my dear dwarf, have just condemned me to traveling with a bunch of stodgy old sods! And here I was, basking in my good fortune! Ah, well such is the ways of life." Fili shook his head sadly with a smirk.

"I was being serious!" I said with a chuckle, as I lightly punched his arm.

"Alright, I surrender!" laughed Fili holding up his hands. "I was actually hoping that you would come though." said Fili, in a more serious tone. "Though I would never ask you leave without Master Baggins. It's quite clear that care for him, though I would have as well if he had raised me." Fili said before adding, "I would have enjoyed your company on this adventure though."

I looked down and studied the carpet. I could not help but feel that I had let Fili down and that thought was incomprehensible. I actually shuddered involuntarily. Fili either didn't notice or ignored it and continued,

"You never know, Master Baggins may change his mind come the morning."

"I wouldn't take that bet if I were you. You would lose." I said.

"Actually I think I will take that bet." said Fili with an evil grin. "A gold coin apiece sound fair?"

"But what if you don't win, however will I make back my gold piece?" I laughed, truely hoping that come tomorrow all I would be out was a gold piece and not the dwarves company.

"I swear, I'll see to it that you get it!" replied Fili, sitting up and placing his hand over his heart.

"I hope you win this bet!"

"So do I! And I get the feeling that I will."

I couldn't help the grin that was plastered on my face and I grinned all the broader, until it was interrupted by a earsplitting yawn. Fili shoved me back down to my pillow, grinning like a madman at my undignified splutters.

"Get some sleep, so that way I'll be able to make my gold piece and have you well refreshed when I torment you about it!"

I flashed one of my winning smiles and rolled over back over. I felt Fili's back touch mine and I stiffened slightly before relaxing and shifting a little. It felt good having Fili there beside me. It was like having a brother with me. I yawned again and drifted, only half awake.

"Kian?"

I hummed a reply. I was nearly asleep and didn't have the energy to talk.

"Where did Master Baggins find you?"

"On the river b-b-bank." I said through a yawn, trying to fight sleep. "W-wh-y-y?"

"I was just curious. Goodnight."

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**A/N: I would like to thank everyone again for helping me and waiting for me! Chapter 5 will be up tomorrow!  
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	5. The Journey Begins

**A/N: Since one or two people have complained that the revisions added nothing to the story and took to long, I'm just going to say that I didn't want to re-write the whole story, so I just tried to highlight how Kian loves Bilbo and the Shire, but since he is a dwarf, he can't help but feel the way that he does, and that I'm sorry that it took so long but I do have a life away from fanfiction. So anyway, please enjoy the chapter!  
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**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Tolkien's**

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Whatever I had expected to wake up to, it was certainly not Bilbo shoving a piece of paper under my nose.

"Sign it!"

"W-What?"

Bilbo flashed me his adventurous grin, the one that I hadn't seen in years and said,

"Well you do want to go don't you?"

"B-b-but, w-when did you?"

"No time to explain! They've already been gone for some time now! Sign it!" said Bilbo as he thrust a quill into my hand. I had it signed before I was really even aware of what had happened, and Bilbo took the contract from my hands and hauled me to my feet, saying as he did, "I packed you knapsack for you, go grab anything else you might need! Come now, Kian my boy! We're already late!"

"Wait half a moment, Bilbo!"

"No time for half a moment, my boy!" laughed Bilbo, as he shoved me towards my room.

After being half shoved, half hauled to my bedroom, I hurried to grab up the extra things I would need, trusting that Bilbo had filled my pack with most of the necessities that would be needed. I strapped my quiver and sword onto my back and grabbed up my bow and slipped that into it's sheath behind me as well. I pulled out my two throwing knives and tucked them into my boots. I paused on my way out to see my reflection in the mirror. Unlike all the others days following my birthday, when I would once again be transformed back into Kian of Bag-End, it would seem, that Kili the dwarf was here to stay this time, for awhile anyway.

"Kian!"

"I'm coming!"

I turned to leave, but then remembered one thing that I had forgotten to grab. Reaching into my chest of drawers, I pulled out my coin purse, drawing from it one solitary coin. I tied the purse to my belt and stuffed the coin into my pocket and ran from the room.

"About time! I thought that you may have had second thoughts and simply crawled into bed!" Bilbo laughed.

"Bilbo, has there ever been a time when I chose hearth and home, over an adventure?"

"Never!" said Bilbo with a wink as he shouldered his backpack and flung open the door and positively ran through it.

I actually just stood and blinked. I hadn't seen Bilbo run in, well, in years. It wasn't until I realized that Bilbo had rounded the bend of the road that I shook myself into following him.

"B-Bilbo wait!" I shouted as I took off after him.

He paid me absolutely no mind. And I couldn't have been happier that he hadn't. This was the Bilbo of my childhood! After being absent for nearly fifteen years he had come back at last! I would be the first to admit, I was surprised that Bilbo had changed his mind, though why he had was still beyond me. I couldn't even say that it was for me, I was happily snoring away the morning when he had signed it. I slowed my pace a fraction after I had caught up to Bilbo, so that I wouldn't outdistance him.

Bilbo and I had attracted quite a bit of attention from our fellow hobbits. I had to laugh at the way the neighbors shook their heads at Bilbo and me, as we ran through the fields of the Shire, leaping over fences, or the occasional pumpkin, scattering chickens as we went. We ran past Hamfast's house on the way and earned a very confused look from the gardener as he glanced up from his work.

"Here, Mr. Bilbo. Where you off to?" Hamfast called out.

"Can't stop! I'm already late!" Bilbo answered breathlessly from over his shoulder."

"Late for what?"

"I'm going on an adventure!"

And he seemed completely thrilled about it!

It didn't take us long to catch up to the company of dwarves. They were moving at an easy leisurely pace and we found them just outside Hobbiton. They were a little ways ahead of us, keeping clear of the road and had yet to notice us. I had heard them long before I saw them. Not that they were in any danger, or in any need to be quiet, but for lands sake, they were being loud! Years of honing my archery skills had taught me to rely on my stealth, my keen eyesight, and my hearing, all of which were better than most that I knew and I could unfortunately hear some of their remarks about me and Bilbo, none of which were particularly pleasant, though admittedly, not as bad as what could have been said. I decided to ignore it and slowed to a brisk walk as Bilbo shouted out.

"Wait! Wait!"

The company pulled to a halt and I was pleased to see that many of the dwarves looked surprised that we were here. I stopped beside Fili's pony as Bilbo ran up to Balin.

"We've signed it!" Bilbo gasped happily, handing the contract over to Balin. "Here!"

Balin accepted the contract and pulled out a small magnifying glass.

"Everything appears to be in order." Balin pronounced after examining both Bilbo's and my signatures. "Welcome, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield." Balin said with a wink.

Bilbo grinned and bounced on the balls of his feet. I couldn't help the grin that was plastered on my face as well, to see Bilbo happy and excited about something was enough to make anyone smile.

"Here you go!" said Fili, from beside me.

I looked up and realized that Fili was holding the reins of a pony that was meant for me. I grinned again and climbed up, as Thorin turned back to lead the company, with a smirk and the order,

"Give him a pony."

Bilbo's head jerked towards Thorin and he quickly began to assure everyone that he was in no need of a pony. Fili cracked a smile and I had to admit. Bilbo's ramblings, to which none of the dwarves paid any attention to, were a little humorous, what with his,

"No, no, that won't be necessary, Thank you! I'm sure I can keep up on foot. I've done my fair share of walking holidays, you know? Even got as far as Frogmorton once, Aahh!"

Both me and Fili had reached out at the same time and grabbed a hold of Bilbo from behind and lifted him off his feet and deposited him on his pony. We grinned at each other, ignoring Bilbo's splutters of indignation. Bilbo glared at us so fiercely that we both apologized handsomely. I had forgotten that Bilbo was not overly fond, and borderline scared, of most animals but there really was no other way for him to keep up and after I had explained that to Bilbo and both me and Fili apologized once again, he nodded and half smiled at us before falling in beside Gandalf, leaving me and Fili to ourselves.

As we rode onward, Fili demanded to know about the Shire and I was happy to tell him all about it. He seemed astonished over how many meals most hobbits ate, and was keenly interested in second breakfast. I was laughing at the look on his face as I was telling him this, when something flew past my nose, cutting my laughter short.

"What's all this about?" I asked, as I saw that it was a bag of coins that had thrown to Fili.

"Oh some of us bet on if the two of you would show. I, naturally, bet that you would. Speaking of which..." Fili grinned at me devilishly.

I grinned back and drew from my inner pocket, a gleaming gold piece.

"As promised!" I laughed as I handed it over. "Best bet I've had the pleasure of losing."

"Didn't I tell you!" said Fili. "You see, you can always trust your elders to know best!"

"On some things perhaps."

Fili just laughed and spurred his pony on a little ahead of me and I heard from up ahead of me, I heard Bilbo call a halt and I caught something about him forgetting his handkerchief. I snorted to myself and glanced over my shoulder. I paused for a moment, and turned around in the saddle. Below me lay the comforting sight of Hobbiton. It was only then, looking down at the secluded little world of the Shire, the only world that I had known, that I realized I may never live to see it or it's ridiculous but loveable inhabitants again. I couldn't help but feel that I was about to lose my home, just as surely as these dwarves I was now accompanying had lost theirs. I swept my eyes over the whole green grassy landscape below me, trying to memorized every last detail, when I heard Thorin call to me demanding that I keep up. I glared at Thorin but I turned away all the same, but I couldn't help looking back over my shoulder one last time.

_"...Goodbye..."_ I whispered, before galloping off after the dwarves.

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**A/N: Thank you all! Sorry it was short, but I wanted to get something new out there for all you guys! :)  
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	6. Revelations, Rain, And Rivers

**A/N: Inspiration struck suddenly. Quick and quiet, no noise, just lots of ideas! XD So please enjoy this very fast (fast considering my past history) update! :)  
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**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Tolkien's**

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My Brother's Lullaby

Revelations, Rain, And Rivers

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As sad and somewhat frightening as it was to leave the Shire, I felt a thrill of excitement run through me. I was on an adventure with Bilbo! And while all the adventures I had ever thought up or planned for me and Bilbo to have didn't include twelve other dwarves I had to say it made the ride far more enjoyable. We laughed and sang songs and told stories in the warm sunshine. I spent a good deal of time talking to Fili and Ori, who more than willing to tell me of their home and the dwarven life. Neither laughed or mocked me for the little knowledge I had and answered what questions I asked. I courageously asked if a headbutt was a traditional dwarvish greeting, and explained, after I caught their confused glance, that I had seen Balin and Dwalin headbutt each other when I first met them. The pair laughed at that and explained that only very close family or friends did that to one another. I filed that away for future reference: Do not headbutt dwarves you do not know. I listened eagerly to every tale the Company told and they, especially Ori, seemed just as eager to hear my tales of the Shire as I was to hear theirs. Granted, I had few to tell and not many were as exciting as some stories I had heard from Bofur, but the Company seemed to enjoy the tales and especially of Old Bullroarer Took.

"And so it was that in the Battle of Green Fields, Bullroarer charged the goblin ranks with nothing but a wooden club. He swung his club so hard that he knocked the goblin king's head clean off and it sailed a hundred yards and went down a rabbit hole. And thus the battle was won, and the game of golf invented at the same time." I finished spectacularly, grinning at the laughter that erupted at the end of the tale.

"Is that really how it happened?" laughed Bofur.

"Who can say for sure now? That was years ago, nearly two hundred years ago now that I think on it! I'm sure that story got exaggerated over the years, but it makes for a good tale. It was the first and last battle ever to be fought in the Shire. No hobbit has ever had the need to fight since."

"Well, sounds like the ideal place to live!" joked Bofur "I would like to see it and the Green Fields where the battle was fought if we survive this quest!"

I paled at Bofur's seemingly harmless words and fell behind the rest of the group allowing them to laugh about what they wished. The thought of never again seeing my home again had stayed ever present in the back of my mind, but Bofur's carefree remark of not surviving had brought it rushing full force to the forefront of my mind. I may not have been born to the rolling hills and little rivers of the Shire as Bilbo had been, but I may as well have. I had once tried to explain to Bilbo how conflicted and torn I felt about having been raised in the Shire and grateful for it and yet regretful that I had never known my own kind. He hadn't understood how I would have felt that way and had for the most part dismissed my feelings on the subject. I was just as conflicted now as I had been back then. I was happy, no ecstatic, to be on an adventure with Bilbo, but I still felt the twinge of regret that I had left my home behind. I supposed that I only felt this way because it was the first time I had ever really left the Shire. I sighed and began to hum a little tune of a song that Bilbo had written years ago. It was my favorite song and I used to sing it when Bilbo and I would go on walking holidays. Ori must have heard it for he dropped back beside me again and asked in his quiet voice,

"That is a nice tune, a good traveling tune. What are the words? I should like to learn them."

Instead of replying back I let the song itself be the answer.

_The Road goes ever ever on,  
Down from the door where it began.  
Now far ahead the Road has gone;  
I'll follow it if I can_.

_Pursuing it with eager feet,  
Until it joins some larger way,  
Where many paths and errands meet._

_And whither then? I cannot say._

I was surprised by the applause that followed the end of my song. Bofur and his brother, Fili, Ori and, surprisingly Dori, clapped loudly. I smiled and bowed as much as I could while in the saddle. I turned to Ori and asked if he needed me to tell him the words again so that he could write them in his ever present journal. He smiled and turned the book so that I could see it. Written in neat dwarven runes was the song, just as I had sung it. I laughed, well it was not for nothing that he was a scribe. He hadn't missed a single word. He grinned shyly and put away his book, before pulling up ahead of me to ride with his brothers.

Without Ori as a distraction my thoughts turned again to what might happen at the end of this quest. What if I really never did see the Shire again? What if me and Bilbo didn't make it back? What if I did and Bilbo didn't? I shuddered. I would never be able to forgive myself if that happened. I wasn't entirely convinced that Bilbo hadn't signed that contract partly for me. My hands clenched around the reins and I willed my thoughts elsewhere. Shaking my head to clear it, I leaned back to allow the sunlight to hit me full on the face. That was miles away! There was no danger at the moment, no orcs or goblins, no dragons guarding hoards of gold, everyone, including myself and Bilbo were perfectly safe. I pushed those thoughts to the furthest corners of my mind and allowed myself to enjoy the the nice leisurely ride that still lay before us...

...I couldn't have been happier when we made camp for the night. We had been pushed far by Thorin. I had begun to get tired and so had the other dwarves, they had long since ceased to laugh and joke, being to weary to do so, and poor Bilbo had looked exhausted. He had looked ready to slump over and fall from his saddle. I had leaned over and asked Fili when we were going to stop for the night. A mistake on my part. Thorin had heard me and turned in his saddle and sneered at me saying that the Company wasn't going to stop just because it was past little dwarflings bedtimes. I had bristled at his remark but Bilbo who had been jerked fully awake at the sound of Thorin's voice, dropped back to where me and Fili were and whispered not to pay his words any mind, to which Fili agreed, stating that he too, was tired and so that was Thorin, which made the dwarven leader, as Fili put it, cranky.

It was with that thought in mind I settled down to clean out my pipe as I sat beside the fire. The rest of the Company had either already settled down to sleep or were enjoying the quiet of the camp, though to me there was nothing quiet about the camp at all. It was a wonder that we didn't have every wild creature and foul thing from the Misty Mountains descending on us with all the racket that the dwarves were making with their snores.

"You should rest." said Fili, as he walked up and sat beside me. "It'll be another hard ride tomorrow and we wouldn't want our little dwarfling to get to tired." I threw a rock at him and scowled when he caught it easily. He smirked at me before saying. "It was a hard day, even I was tired. And so was Thorin, and he's worse than dwarfling when he's tired." he grinned at me before ordering, "Rest, you'll need it."

"I can't! The rest of the dwarves snore to loud for me to sleep. And I'd be careful if I were you!" I said, pointing over to where Thorin sat nearby, leaning against a rock.

"I have no need to be careful. Look again." said Fili.

I did as I was bid and smirked. The day's ride had seemed to have taken it's toll on the great Thorin Oakenshield after all. I saw that he had leaned his head back against the rock he was sitting on and had closed his eyes. His soft exhales of breath, told me that he was already asleep. I smirked, for all the berating he gave me earlier, it just became apparent that he had been just as tired.

"Worse than a dwarfling." I laughed and Fili joined me.

A loud snore disrupted our laughter, causing me to look over at the sleeping dwarves with a scowl. They were all loud but one was worse than the others and I rolled my eyes. Bombur snored like a cave troll with a chest congestion. I snorted as I was apparently not the only one Bombur was keeping from their much needed rest. I saw Bilbo pop his head of from his bedroll and glare at the dwarf, before getting up and stretching. He walked over to his pony, the same creature he had previously been so apprehensive of, and snuck it an apple. I smiled at him and went back to cleaning my pipe. Fili lit his own pipe and said that it had been a coming of age present for him. I showed him my own and said that it too had been a coming of age present. He smiled and puffed on his pipe and blew a smoke ring in my face. I mock glared at him and, at his self satisfied look, opted for dignity and resolutely ignored him.

A loud screeching in the distance disrupted the quiet of the night. I jerked my head up. I knew that sound, granted it had been years since I had heard it, but I remembered it clearly. I had heard it after I had run away from Bilbo when I was a dwarfling and the grey clad men had saved me from wolves. We had been on our way back to the Shire, when we had heard that same screeching. And I, like the the little dwarfling that I was, clung to the nearest man and demanded to know what was making that sound. The man had told me that they were orc cries. He had scooped me up in his arms and we had hurried on our way. It was not a sound I particularly wanted to hear again, even though I knew that the screams were in the distance. Thorin startled awake at the sound and looked around trying to see if the enemy was nearby. The sound had also caused Bilbo to suddenly straightened up from Myrtle and asked confusedly,

"What was that?"

"Orcs." I answered quietly, looking around.

"Orcs?!" Bilbo squeaked, as he hurried back over to the fire.

"Throat-cutters. There'll be dozens of them out there. The Lone-Lands are crawling with them." said Fili, in a far to serious voice.

I saw his almost perfectly hidden smirk and caught on to what he was doing. I couldn't pass this opportunity up, especially not when I had a ally.

"They strike in the wee small hours when everyone's asleep. Quick and quiet, no screams, just lots of blood."

Bilbo's eyes grew wide and and he started to look around as though expecting to see orcs popping up from the ground itself. We had really gotten him spooked and Fili and I exchanged amused looks and I started to chuckle.

"You think that's funny?" I turned towards the speaker. I cringed as I met Thorin's glare. "You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?"

There was something in his voice that made me suddenly ashamed of my thoughtless fun at Bilbo's expense. I hadn't meant anything by it and I told him so.

"No, you didn't. You know nothing of the world." he snapped, as he walked away.

His words stung, but I couldn't refute them. Thorin was right, I didn't know anything of the world. I was only slightly better equipped than Bilbo was to handle the dangers of the world. I stared at my boots, I had just proven how ill prepared I was to even be on this adventure if I could joke about orcs coming in the dead of the night to murder all in their path. I felt even more ashamed after I considered how many of these dwarves would take such careless words.

"Don't mind him, laddie. Thorin has more cause than most to hate orcs." said Balin, as he came up beside me and Fili. "After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain...King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient dwarf kingdom of Moria..."

Balin's tale was somewhat humbling. I had read in one of my history books, the Battle of Azanulbizar but it was not quite written the same way that Balin was telling it. Books didn't touch on the horror of the battle, only the glory of it. I had never imagined a battle to ever go in anyone's favor but the hero's. Evil was not supposed to be stronger than good. I listened horrified as Balin spoke of the legions of orcs that claimed countless dwarven lives. I shuddered as though feeling for myself each and every life that had been lost. And curse my vivid imagination, I saw the battle played out in my mind as Balin spoke. I could see the far too young dwarf prince standing alone against the mightiest of the orcs, grief stricken and weary, armor torn and nearly defenseless, and yet triumphing over this terrible foe...

"And I thought to myself then...There was one who I could follow, there is one I could call king." finished Balin.

_"As could I"_ I silently agreed.

"And the pale orc?" asked Bilbo, breaking the dwarves and my own solemn reveries. "What happened to him?"

"He slunk back into the hole from whence he came. That filth died of his wounds long ago." said Thorin, as he rejoined the Company near the fire, taking back his previous seat.

If I had felt ashamed before then I even more so now. Of course I knew the history of the dwarves, and yet I hadn't thought to much of it. But here, standing along side the very dwarves that had graced the pages of my study books, on a quest with them that would no doubt land another page in my study books, even if it was only to say: '_And thus they met their ends._', I had had the gall to frighten Bilbo with a joke about the very creatures that had probably killed my own descendents, and had killed Thorin's? I could not blame Thorin for his angry words. If our places had been switched I would have been just as angry. I wished that I could recall the words back, but as I couldn't, I did the only thing I could. I turned to Thorin and said.

"I-I'm sorry Thorin. Sincerely." I added, seeing his disbelieving look. He had no doubt remembered my last 'apology'. Taking a deep breath, I continued. "It was just a thoughtless joke just to tease Bilbo. I didn't mean to offend you. I truely meant nothing by it."

Thorin's face remained as stoic as it ever did, and the only answer I received was a single nod of his head but I saw his eyes soften at my genuine apology. The dwarves, after a few more somber moments, resumed their former activities of either sleeping or sitting quietly. As for myself, I picked up my pipe from where it had lay forgotten beside me and tucked it back in my pack, before wrapping up in my coat and settling down to sleep. It was a few hours later when I finally fell sleep and even then it was an uneasy sleep, filled with dragons, orcs, and dying dwarves.**  
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oOo

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Rain. I never knew I could despise rain so much. It was no where near as pleasant when I was in the torrential downpour itself, as opposed to looking out at it from the cozy window's of Bag-End. I pulled my hood up further around my ears and kept my head down. It was beginning to wear down even my usually unconquerable high spirits and it seemed to be dampening everyone else's as well. Well, almost everyone's. I chuckled at Bofur. I had to give him full points for optimism. Only Bofur would try and continue trying, to smoke his pipe in this storm. I nudged Ori, who was riding beside me and pointed at Bofur. I earned a small smile from the little scribe, but he was too wet and too tired to do more than that. Fili's prediction had turned out to be true. It had been another hard ride and I vow I think that Thorin had pushed us even farther than he had the day before. It was long after everyone else was ready to halt for the day did Thorin finally mention something about supper, with a _"And where shall we get a dry patch to sleep on?"_

We traveled a little further in the hopes of finding a decent place to stop for the night. After some fruitless scouting the Company decided just to camp near the river that we had been following. Ori pointed out a group of trees near the banks that we could make camp under. It wouldn't provide much protection from the rains but any would be a welcome. I stiffly slid off of Daisy's back and tethered her to a tree before I began to remove her saddle. After seeing to Daisy I found myself a comfortable patch near the base of a large oak tree and dropped my pack beside it. Supper was a simple affair of cram, since the everything was too wet from the rain to make a fire, though Gloin, who was remarkably good at starting a fire, could have probably gotten one going. I said nothing about it though. I had no wish to called a petulant, whining dwarfling next. After the meal was over and the watch had been assigned to Dori, I hunkered down among the roots of the tree and listened gratefully as the rain began to stop. I knew that it would rain again, I could smell it in the air, but the reprieve was well welcomed by all. **  
**

I jumped at the sound of the thunder and was pulled out of my half asleep state. I sat up and grumbled at the sky for disrupted, what had been promising to be a good sleep. It's response was another painfully loud clap of thunder. A pony's scream mixed with the sound of the thunder and I turned to see Myrtle scream in fright as only a pony can, and bolt. She was running straight for the river but she would have to run past me first. I leapt to my feet and I managed to grab onto the reins before Myrtle charged into the waters, but the animal was too scared to stop despite my calming words and I felt myself be pulled along with it. The river was icy and deep, but I couldn't let go, not while the river was raging this fiercely. I felt the current carry me and Myrtle downstream, before the two of us stopped with a jerk. I went underwater for a brief moment before I surfaced. Myrtles's baggage had gotten caught on a tree root halting our journey down the wild river ride. The waters swirled up around my chest and my feet couldn't find the river bed, all that was keeping me from slipping under, was my death grip on Myrtles reins. Pulling myself up to her head, I tried to calm the spooked pony. It worked to some extent. At least Myrtle wasn't thrashing wildly anymore. I whistled at the dwarves before turning back to the scared animal. I patted her shivering neck with my free hand and told her that she was a good girl, keeping her calm as the dwarves ran towards us. It was Fili and Nori that reached us first.

"Hey lad, what's the poor beast caught on?" shouted Nori, trying to make himself heard above the river.

"It's her baggage! It's stuck on that root that's sticking out there!"

"Toss me the reins so I'll be able to pull her free after I cut her loose!" said Nori, as Dwalin ran forward to assist him.

"I can't! My hold on the reins is all that's keeping me from going under!" I shouted back.

"Hey! Someone give me a rope!" called Fili. After being handed the thick cable, Fili threw the line out to me, "Catch Kian!"

I did manage to grab ahold of one end of the rope before I tossed Myrtles reins to Nori. He easily cut the straps holding the bags of supplies on her back and pass them off to Dwalin, who got all the gear on the banks without them getting too wet.

"Let go Kian!" said Nori. "Get clear while I pull her out!"

I nearly had to pry my fingers loose to let go of Myrtle's reins and as soon as I did the river tried to sweep me away. I tried to tighten my grip in the rope that Fili had thrown to me but my numb fingers didn't want to hold on to the wet cord. I felt it slipping through my fingers and I yelled to Fili, but it was too late, the rope slid out of my hand and I hurtled down the river. I heard Fili scream my name but a wave crashing over my head prevented me from hearing if he had said anything else. I gained the surface again and almost breathed a sigh of relief before I smashed into something hard. I had knocked my head against rock making my vision go blurry before I slammed into a tree branch that caught me in the ribs though I did manage to latch ahold of it, gasping in pain, and praying that my ribs weren't broken. I hadn't been carried off far and I was still in sight of the dwarves. I yelled to alert them to where I was and I saw Bofur and Bifur sprint towards me. Bifur braced himself against a tree and held on to Bofur who held his arm out to me.

"Grab on laddie! We'll pull you out!"

I reached for Bofur's extended hand and caught it with a triumphant yell. Bofur grinned at me and began to haul me out. My joyful cry turned into one of pain.

"S-st-stop! Bofur stop! "

"What's wrong lad?" I could hear the concern in his voice.

"M-my leg. It must be caught on something!" Bifur growled something in Khuzdul and Bofur answered him, but I couldn't catch what was said over the noise of the river. "Just give me a minute!" I shouted. "I think I can get it loose!"

I gripped the tree limb tightly in one hand and let go of Bofurs, sucking in a deep breath. I saw Bofur's eyes widen as he realized what I was about to do.

"No! Wait lad!" I heard Bofur yell but I had already ducked my head underwater.

I opened my eyes and felt the water sting them for a minute before they became accustomed to it, and looked down at what was holding me in the frigid water. It was a tree root, that had somehow snaked around my lower calf and ankle. I jerked on it with my free hand and tried to pull my leg free. I got it looser, but my lungs screamed for air so I resurfaced long enough to greedily gulp some fresh air before diving back down. Working quickly, I tried to twist it so that I get out of it's hold, and it took me the better part of a minute to get free of it. As soon as I was, however I almost wished that I hadn't gotten myself free. The current had become ten times stronger and seemed to have made it's mission to drag me under into it's cold depths. And now with the tree root, there wasn't much that would stop it from doing so. I felt myself beginning to panic. I didn't know how to swim and I knew just how easy it was for someone to drown. Pulling myself up as fast as I could, my head broke the surface of the river.

"I'm free!" I gasped out to Bofur.

"Good! Now give me you hand laddie!" he yelled back.

I reached out and almost managed to grab his hand when my other hand slipped off of the tree limb. Bofur grabbed at me but without the tree root holding me in place or my grip on the tree branch, the current dragged me under. I cried out in surprise only to choke on water. My lungs burned from the water that I had inhaled and I kicked out wildly to try and find the surface. Everything was pain in this swirling, roiling whirlpool of dark murky water. My lungs burned, my head ached, my ribs throbbed. I tried to reach the surface again, but my inability to swim was making that difficult. I never thought that I would die from drowning. Fear settled in my mind. I was scared. I didn't want to die. Fate was cruel to take me the same way she nearly had sixty-four years ago when Bilbo had found me. Bilbo. I wanted Bilbo! I needed Bilbo! I called out for him but more of the deadly liquid was forced into my mouth and the world faded into darkness...

_...The Toddler screamed as the coracle tilted to one side, nearly throwing him into scary water. It had been pouring for days and it had made the little river dangerous for the child. He huddled in the bottom of the boat and cried. The thunder made his ears hurt and his heart pound. The lightning scared him and made the water look like monsters._ He wanted to be home where nothing could ever hurt him._ __He wanted his Fee, who would frighten away the monsters and command the battles in the sky to stop. __The Toddler pulled his knees to his chest and cried for his Fee..._

_...The boat smashed into a rock and the Toddler cried out as he was thrown from the wrecked coracle. He was tossed and thrown about in the rough waters disappearing below it's depths and then flung back up by the heaving river. The Toddler cried and swallowed water into his lungs, cutting his cries off short. His head felt fuzzy and he tried to cough up the water but another wave hit him in the face and more water forced it's way where it didn't belong. The River gathered the Toddler in it's waves and pulled him down again, but then apparently changed it's mind and flung him away. The Toddler hit the ground hard and threw up water. He coughed and heaved until he was exhausted and slumped to the ground unconscious...  
_

_..."Hey little one, open your eyes. That's it. Breathe, just breathe for me. You'll be alright."_

_The Toddler's eyes flickered open and he saw that he was being cradled by a strange looking creature with fuzzy feet that was gently rubbing his back. He coughed and shivered and began to cry._

_"Hey now, my boy. There's no need for that. Everything's fine now. I've got you. Shh, shh." said the Fuzzy Footed Person. "Now, little one, can you tell me your name?"_

_"K-K-Kee..."_

_"Kee? Is that your name? Are you Kee?" The Toddler nodded and the Fuzzy Footed Person continued. "Is that your nickname?" again the Toddler nodded. "Can you tell me your real name?"  
_

_"Kee! Kee! Kee!"  
_

_"Alright, then Kee, I'm Bilbo Baggins, nice to meet you."_

_"Hi..." The Toddler whispered before he began coughing again._

_"Come on now, just breathe! Breathe!"_

"Dammit! Come on, you little fool! Come on you reckless idiotic child! Breathe!"

I felt somebody pushing down hard on my chest. I was vaguely contemplating asking that they stop, if I could have dragged myself from the state of half asleep that I was in. I had been having my dream again though I had never seen this part of it before. I suddenly heard Bilbo's hysterical voice in the distance.

"Please Kian! Wake up! Please be alright!"

I wanted to jump up and reassure him that I was indeed fine but my limbs seemed to be weighted down with lead. My eyes wouldn't open and I felt like I was suffocating. I heard someone nearby growl and snap angrily.

"Get him away from here! Restrain him if you have too!"

"Please let me go! Kian needs me!"

I wanted to leap up and help Bilbo but whoever was beside me had begun to push against my chest again, hard. It was becoming painful, I winced and a particularly rough shove caused me to sit up as I choked on the water that was trying to expel itself from my lungs. I was turned over on my side and someone thumped me on the back to make sure I coughed up all the water. I gagged as I was hit a little too hard between the shoulder blades, sending me into another long coughing fit. When the heaving had subsided I collapsed, exhausted against the strong arm that was supporting me. I forced my eyes to open though all I longed to do was sleep. I was surprised to see that it was Thorin who was looking down at me. He was soaking wet, as though he himself had been in the river. I blinked slowly as the realization hit me. Thorin Oakenshield, King of the dwarves, had jumped into a freezing raging river just to save me and my recklessly insane hide. I confess it made no sense to my non-functioning mind, Thorin could barely stand the sight of me and yet he had saved my life. Perhaps he felt responsible for me because I was a dwarf and he was, by technicalities, my king. Whatever his reason was, the fact remained that I would never have lived long enough to even be eaten by a dragon had Thorin not risked himself for me and he was more than deserving of my thanks. I tried to speak but all that came out was a croak and something that sounded like _'Thags' _rather than _'Thanks'. _Thorin growled at me and I vow I had never seen him look so angry.

"Oh, I wouldn't thank me, boy! I've half a mind to take you to task for being so, so, _stupid! _Are you trying to yourself killed? You reckless idiot!"

I winced as his frustrated roar had made my ears ring but I was in no position to say anything about it nor likely would I if I could. I had effectively disrupted everyone's, would have been, quiet, albeit soggy evening, nearly gotten myself killed, and somehow managed to put the dwarven leader at risk also. Well, I may have well just begged to be sent back to the Shire along with Bilbo. Thorin would surely not want someone as reckless as me with the company. I hadn't even made it three days into this venture. I closed my eyes in defeat, not wanting to look at Thorin, the Company, or Bilbo. They flew open in shock as Thorin turned and ordered,

"Gloin get that Valar be damned fire going before this fool boy freezes to death! And hand me that cloak!"

I felt myself be suddenly wrapped in warm fabric and lifted off the ground. Valar save me, but Thorin had actually picked me up as though I was no more than the dwarfling that he believed me to be. If I could have spoken I would have demanded that I be put down, but as it was, I was in a state of shock and did nothing more than gasp at the pain that flared up from my ribs. I did not have to endure the humiliation for long, as Thorin only carried me to where a bedroll had been spread out beside the small blaze that Gloin had managed to coax to life. He laid me down surprisingly gentle, considering how angry he was, and stepped aside so that Oin could take his place and examine my wounds.

My injuries consisted of bruised ribs from when I slammed into the tree limb, a nasty cut along the hairline, and a twisted ankle. Considering my near death encounter, I was relatively unharmed. Oin easily stripped me of my wet clothing and spread a salve across my protesting ribs before saying far too loudly.

"Well I'm pleased that your rib's aren't broken! After slamming into that tree and Thorin's compressions, I quite expected a broken rib or two. Here sit up and let me bind them."

I gritted my teeth as the old healer wrapped my ribs and then slipped a spare shirt over my head, closing my eyes as he began tending to my other hurts as well. I was extremely lucky to be alive and apart from my burning lungs and throbbing ribs, not in too much pain. I could easily continue on tomorrow, if Thorin would even let me accompany them tomorrow. I would have worried over it further if I hadn't been so exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to sleep and I almost succeeded until Oin pulled off my boot and began to tend my ankle. I jerked awake with a half muffled cry of pain.

"Will he be alright?" I heard Bilbo demand.

"He's an asinine, foolish boy, but I reckon his senseless self will live to see another day. Let Oin tend to him, Master Baggins." said Thorin.

"I can't thank you enough for saving him! I don't know what I would do without Kian!"

If Thorin had answered Bilbo I didn't catch it, but that was hardly my first priority. The pain in my ankle was growing and it was all that I could do to keep the tears that burned from behind my tightly shut eyes from slipping down my face. I felt someone brush my damp bangs back from my face and I opened my eyes. It was Bilbo. I tried to smile at him but it must have came across more of a grimace of pain, for Bilbo suddenly turned to Oin and asked if he had anything to help with the pain. After Oin assured Bilbo that he did, he rummaged through his bag for a moment and drew out a leather flask. He handed it off to Bilbo before going back to my ankle. Bilbo gently held it to my mouth and I swallowed some of it. It tasted horrible and I almost spat it back out, but Oin suddenly looked up and gave me a fierce glare that made me drink the rest as quickly as I could. Bilbo grinned as I made a face and pulled my head down to rest on his shoulder. I sighed gratefully, and waited for the brew to take effect.

"So how fares our little dwarfling Oin?" asked Thorin, as he came up beside us again

"I'll be well enough to travel in the morning." I said hoarsely, before Oin could speak, hoping that if Thorin believed that I could still keep up with the Company that he would be willing to let this one little reckless incident slide.

"Well then, I'll expect you up all the earlier to help break camp tomorrow. And since you'll be feeling so well you can spend tomorrow learning from Oin how to tend to injuries, you obviously need to know the art. " growled Thorin.

Oin grinned as he finished with me and stood up, turning to Thorin and saying.

"It might do you good to learn some too, that way you would know to change out of wet clothing to ensure that you don't catch _your_ death from cold."

Thorin sniffed a smile and turned away, no doubt to acquire a change of clothing, but turned back around as I called to him. He raised a brow at me and I whispered.

"Thank you."

It was all I could manage but Thorin understood all that it meant and again I saw his eyes soften at my sincere words, despite his stern expression. I laid my head back down against Bilbo and felt as exhaustion finally gather me up too tightly for me to struggle against. My eyes slid shut and I drifted to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: Let me know what you thought! I think I did a good job with keeping the movie parts to a minimum! **


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